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36 and infertile due to cervical cancer

diggity
Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2012

I'm a 36 and was diagnosed with cervical cancer in April 2012. It was diagnosed after a conization operation and within one week I was back in the hospital for a Radical hysterectomy.
I have not had the 'fear' of cancer, as it all went so quick. I didn't have much time to process or worry about cancer because as soon as I was told it was cancer, I was told that it would be taken out. The only thing my brain could process was that I would be infertile.
I do not have any children and this is something I have known I wanted all my life. I 'knew' I would have children. And now it is hard to 'know' that I wont.
I read these posts here and I have yet to come across anyone who has my same story, childless and infertile. I feel like I'm the only one.

ALBunny
Posts: 8
Joined: Oct 2012

Hi, I wanted to reply because no one else has & it appears this forum goes through slow periods. I'm 38 and no children. Like you, I always just knew I'd have them. But, my husband's unable; we found out after we'd been married a few years. I haven't been through cervical cancer or a hysterectomy, so I'm not able to share the pain of what you went through there, but I wanted to let you know I do understand wanting to have children, be a mom, and everything that goes with it, but then having it taken off the table. Heart-wrenching is how I described the feeling to a friend once. It took me a long time to deal with it, I let myself be sad and angry and whatever other emotions came up. Basically I let myself grieve, and that helped me quite a bit. It didn't stop me from still wanting them or wishing we could have them, but it helped me cope.

icyshimmerwing's picture
icyshimmerwing
Posts: 1
Joined: Dec 2013

2013-12-13

Hi Diggity,

It took me a long time to find you! I too was looking for someone in a similar circumstace to my own. I am 35 yrs old, I was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer in February of 2013, two days after my birthday, Happy Birthday to meCry! Unlike you, I had over a month to mull over my fate before surgery, it was agonizing, worrying about how the cancer was growing, knowing I was losing the life I'd dreamed of, even if I was to survive the cancer. Also like you, from a very young age, children were going to be a part of my life, and I looked forward to each of them. I am the second youngest of eight, and both sets of grandparents had eight children, my older sisters were rabbits too, so I never dreamed that life would be ripped from my womb. I remember lying there as they prepped me for surgery, tears running uncontrollably down my face, knowng the mother I had always planned to be was about to be taken forever from me. I don't know how far along my Cancer journey I have gone, I've done the surgery, the chemo, and the radiation, but there may be more yet to come, but one thing I do know, my babies are lost to me. Some would argue that I never had them, but they were real to me, I named them, held them, and smelled them in my dreams. There are tons of those people who try to comfort with the hollow advice, "you can adopt", or "have you thought of fostering", or my personal favorite, "you don't know how lucky you are not  to have kids, do you want mine?". Anyhow I can relate to how you are feeling if you ever want to vent, I am here.

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