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36 and infertile due to cervical cancer

diggity
Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2012

I'm a 36 and was diagnosed with cervical cancer in April 2012. It was diagnosed after a conization operation and within one week I was back in the hospital for a Radical hysterectomy.
I have not had the 'fear' of cancer, as it all went so quick. I didn't have much time to process or worry about cancer because as soon as I was told it was cancer, I was told that it would be taken out. The only thing my brain could process was that I would be infertile.
I do not have any children and this is something I have known I wanted all my life. I 'knew' I would have children. And now it is hard to 'know' that I wont.
I read these posts here and I have yet to come across anyone who has my same story, childless and infertile. I feel like I'm the only one.

ALBunny
Posts: 8
Joined: Oct 2012

Hi, I wanted to reply because no one else has & it appears this forum goes through slow periods. I'm 38 and no children. Like you, I always just knew I'd have them. But, my husband's unable; we found out after we'd been married a few years. I haven't been through cervical cancer or a hysterectomy, so I'm not able to share the pain of what you went through there, but I wanted to let you know I do understand wanting to have children, be a mom, and everything that goes with it, but then having it taken off the table. Heart-wrenching is how I described the feeling to a friend once. It took me a long time to deal with it, I let myself be sad and angry and whatever other emotions came up. Basically I let myself grieve, and that helped me quite a bit. It didn't stop me from still wanting them or wishing we could have them, but it helped me cope.

icyshimmerwing's picture
icyshimmerwing
Posts: 1
Joined: Dec 2013

2013-12-13

Hi Diggity,

It took me a long time to find you! I too was looking for someone in a similar circumstace to my own. I am 35 yrs old, I was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer in February of 2013, two days after my birthday, Happy Birthday to meCry! Unlike you, I had over a month to mull over my fate before surgery, it was agonizing, worrying about how the cancer was growing, knowing I was losing the life I'd dreamed of, even if I was to survive the cancer. Also like you, from a very young age, children were going to be a part of my life, and I looked forward to each of them. I am the second youngest of eight, and both sets of grandparents had eight children, my older sisters were rabbits too, so I never dreamed that life would be ripped from my womb. I remember lying there as they prepped me for surgery, tears running uncontrollably down my face, knowng the mother I had always planned to be was about to be taken forever from me. I don't know how far along my Cancer journey I have gone, I've done the surgery, the chemo, and the radiation, but there may be more yet to come, but one thing I do know, my babies are lost to me. Some would argue that I never had them, but they were real to me, I named them, held them, and smelled them in my dreams. There are tons of those people who try to comfort with the hollow advice, "you can adopt", or "have you thought of fostering", or my personal favorite, "you don't know how lucky you are not  to have kids, do you want mine?". Anyhow I can relate to how you are feeling if you ever want to vent, I am here.

Jvan10's picture
Jvan10
Posts: 1
Joined: May 2015

Hi! I know this is a super old post, but I came across it while I was looking through the discussion boards. I thought if I posted on it, someone else might feel comfort in seeing it also. 

I foubs out out I had cervical cancer a few weeks before my 26th birthday. I had been married to my husband for less than a year. I ended up having a hysterectomy, chemo, and radiation. When I had my surgery, they left my ovaries hoping the radiation wouldn't get to them, but it did. Fast forward to now, I'm 27, infertile, and menopausal. It has been quite a journey! I, too, have struggled to find other young women who are infertile and have not yet had children. I get so jealous seeing people all around me get pregnant with child after child. I know that adoption is always an option and it is the route we are planning to take one day, but the whole process is so overwhelming. 

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 777
Joined: Mar 2013

Jvan, I am so sorry to hear that you have had to find this board and find yourself having to deal with all of this.  I am not in a similar situation like you and the other young women here, but I hope you are kind to yourself and wish you peace.

Thank you for coming and sharing.  No doubt you will help others.

newtothis0224
Posts: 2
Joined: Jul 2015

Hi Jvan, I just wrote to this post and realise you are probably the most recent post. I'm in the same process as you are. How are you doing now?

Stephellis27
Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2015

Hi your story really touched me. I am in the same boat. I was diagnosed in 2007 with cervical cancer at the age of  21, I had a tumor 8inchs which the doctors failed to detect for 12 months. As you can imagine when the tumor was detected everything happened pretty quickly. I was sent to see a baby doctor as i called him and he informed me it was impossible to harvest and freeze my eggs as I didn't have enough time. He said it was either harvest my eggs which would take so many weeks or die. As you can imagine t mother took it badly but I think I was in shock. I had all the treatment radio theory chemotherapy and inturnal radiotherapy. I have always been a kid person and my mother was hopping for her first girl to give her a grandchild. I felt heartbroken for my mum more than anything to see her pain. I find it more difficult now though than ever as my sister is trying and everyone's excited and bizzing round and I will never have that feeling. I've come to terms with it now but it still hurts every baby I see every cry I heard its a painful thing to live with. If felt so lonely because I can't expressed to my friends or family about this because they just don't understand they Ty to  but it's not the same.Thank you for reading your not alone xxx

 

 

 

Y

newtothis0224
Posts: 2
Joined: Jul 2015

Hello,

I know this is an old post but I'm hoping you are still seeing it and know you are not alone.

 

I am 30 years old and was diagnosed one week ago (July 2015) with stage I cervical cancer. Like you I went through a cone biopsy last week and am also getting a radical hysterectomy next week. I'm scared, I feel alone, frustrated and upset that I'll never have kids. I was told i would not be able to have kids but I'll be able to perserve my eggs. I'm hoping that is still the case afterwards. My husband has been very understanding but I can see how sad he is from it. 

if you are still around and get this, I'd love to talk to you to see how you are doing now and give you a big virtual hug for getting through this.

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 777
Joined: Mar 2013

newtothis, I am sorry you have had to find this chat board at such a young age.  Cancer is such a terrible, terrible thing.  This board can be a little quiet and I would suggest the National Cervical Cancer Coalition chat room.  I found it as I tried to learn more about cc as a co-worker was recently diagnosed and it is dedicated to that cancer.  There are some really great ladies over there too.

http://www.nccc-online.org/

At the bottom of the page is a little blue box where you can click on "Support Community".  You will have to login like you did for this site to post questions and comments but you can read the threads as you can here.

Good luck.  You are not alone.

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