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David

cindysuetoyou's picture
cindysuetoyou
Posts: 508
Joined: Dec 2009

We lost David today. He took his last breath around 4 pm. I was shocked at how fast the end came. Hospice said it was a peaceful death but I don't know. David wasn't their son. I didn't feel peace. I'm devastated, heartbroken, physically sick, and I don't know what to do. Our extended family all came over and that really helped.

I can't begin to think about facing a life and a future without my son.

connsteele
Posts: 232
Joined: May 2011

Oh Cindy...my heart is broken, for you and for your dearest David. There is nothing I can say that will take away the pain you are going through . All I can say is that now is the time to lean on your family and friends. Let them care for you now.

This past Sunday was the six month mark since we lost our David. I wish I could say that it gets easier over time, and I do believe that. And we do have have our good days and bad days...or it can vary hour by hour. I have a friend who lost her 19 year old son ten years ago, and she said that you learn to live with a hole in your heart. I'm beginning to see that is true.

Peace and love to you and may you feel your David's love as he looks down on you from a more peaceful and beautiful place.

Connie
Mother of David
2/28/77-4/14/12
Medulloblastoma, 1985 (age8)
Dx AA3, April 2011

mom_in_CT
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2011

Cindy, I am so sorry. David was an amazing young man,and you are an amazing mother. You and David fought so hard.

I dreaded the day that I saw this post. I am headed down this same path with my daughter, and I am terrified.

debbie

BenLenBo's picture
BenLenBo
Posts: 141
Joined: Feb 2012

I was not expecting to read your post this morning. Our prayers and sympathy are with you and your family during this difficult. David was one amazing young man, who bravely fought this horrible disease, with the help of one fantastic, loving and caring mother and family.

"When someone you love dies, you never quite get over it.
You just slowly learn how to go on without them.
But always keeping them tucked safely in your heart".

Please keep in touch, you and David have been an inspiration to all on this site, sharing your
story. You have helped so many people along your journey!

God Bless!

(((HUGS)))

Carol and Benjamin

chicken2799's picture
chicken2799
Posts: 105
Joined: Nov 2009

I was praying for you this morning as I was driving to work as well as everyone elso on this site. I am heartbroken for you, and sitting at my desk crying for your loss. I feel as though everyone on here is family, and I will pray for peace for you and your family. You are an outstanding Mother and do not ever forget that. David knew you fought along beside him. There are no words I can say to console you, but know that my thoughts and prayers are with you always. Please continue to post because I feel the same way as everyone else. You have been an inspiration to each of us. God Bless You!

"Lord, I bring to you my burden and you know my situation. You know I can't make it without you! Comfort my heart, give me strength, and help me carry on. Amen!" Unknown

Michelle
Mobile, Al

dmercer1
Posts: 16
Joined: Mar 2011

Cindy,

You don't know me. I have been mostly a lurker on this site. I am a 39 YO with Oligodendroglioma. I have followed David's and your story since I was first diagnosed almost 2 years ago. Though my mom is not on this site or others, I have read your posts and tried to think that is how my mom is experiencing all this. My prayer for you today is that your pain be left in HIM who knows what you are experiencing. May you cling close to God as you travel this steep and rugged road. I won't say you will get through it. I don't believe there is anything to "get through." This is who you are now and will forever be intertwined in who you are. Please embrace the waves of deep sorrow as a lament that this is not the way it was supposed to be. And may the waves of deep sorrow slowly be replaced by a hope that one day we shall unite in sweet embrace. Until that day, may a flood of memories sweep over you as you remember a life well lived. A life that we all agree was way too short. I leave you with these words: "But there's one who holds my hand, through rugged roads, through barren lands. The way is dark, the road is steep, but he's become my eyes to see. The strength to climb, my griefs to bear, the savior lives inside me there. May you find the savior in the very place you need him to be, in the emptiness of heart, left by a precious one. Grace and Peace, Danny

mighty6
Posts: 47
Joined: Sep 2011

Dear Cindy,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. it is beyond my imagination to understand how a mother can deal with the loss of her young, brilliant son.

My prayers are with you and the whole family...

--Jane

PBJ Austin
Posts: 346
Joined: Mar 2009

Our dear friend, when I saw the title of your thread I felt a little sick for what I might read. Words cannot express how sorry I am to hear of your devastating loss. You and your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers, just as I pray for everyone on this board.

Pam

alutiiqmom's picture
alutiiqmom
Posts: 256
Joined: Jun 2011

Cindy Sue:

My heart hurts for you. I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling right now. What I do know is that you have been an amazing mama bear for David. You were there the whole journey and I am sure that gave him such peace and comfort. You are an amazing Mother.

I will continue to pray for you and your family. I pray that God will give you peace and comfort. I believe you will see David again and yet he will always be a part of you here on earth.

I pray that your memories will bring you peace and a smile of the good times you had together as a family. I encourage you to pray every moment if you need too.

God bless you. Sending love and care from Alaska

Edna

Dan620
Posts: 213
Joined: Dec 2009

Dearest Cindy and family, I am so sorry to hear this. David was one amazing man. Hugs and prayers... Dan

I_Promise's picture
I_Promise
Posts: 210
Joined: Aug 2011

I never wanted to read this post. I can just imagine your grief. You have been a source of inspiration to me and numerous others. You love like no other is able to love.

Julia

kate2kate
Posts: 19
Joined: Dec 2011

Cindy,

There are no words that I can type to take away the pain but I wish I could. My husbands name is David too and was dx Nov 2011. And when he first got diagnosed I remember reading all of yours and Connie's posts. You both had Davids too and shared your intimate thoughts and feelings with me. You also gave me the gift of truth. The truth like no doctor, therapist or support group could give. You gave me the knowledge of what lied ahead and showed great strength that I hope I can live up too. There is know way I can repay you for this gift. Unfortunately my Dave drew the metastasis card and the cancer has spread to his spine. So I will be joining you soon on the next part of this terrible journey living without our Davids. I just want you both to know that your words meant something.

Katie

Wife to Dave 40 GBM IV, Drop Metastasis to the Spine
Mommy to my sweet son Sam 9

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

Cindy, I am so so sorry for you and your family. You will never get over the loss of your son but time will dull the pain. When I hit a low point, I have to think how my husband would want me to live my life. You were so strong and such an advocate for David. What more can any of us ask for at life's end. Prayers for you at this difficult time.
Becky

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

Cindy, I am so so sorry for you and your family. You will never get over the loss of your son but time will dull the pain. When I hit a low point, I have to think how my husband would want me to live my life. You were so strong and such an advocate for David. What more can any of us ask for at life's end. Prayers for you at this difficult time.
Becky

4theloveofmysis's picture
4theloveofmysis
Posts: 248
Joined: Apr 2011

I am so sorry, Im heartbroken for you. There just are not any words I can thing of to make you feel any better. Friday is the one year mark for my sister and its not a day I want to come. Just know that Im thinking of you and your family. You are an amazing mother.
Brenda

4theloveofmysis's picture
4theloveofmysis
Posts: 248
Joined: Apr 2011

I am so sorry, Im heartbroken for you. There just are not any words I can thing of to make you feel any better. Friday is the one year mark for my sister and its not a day I want to come. Just know that Im thinking of you and your family. You are an amazing mother.
Brenda

4theloveofmysis's picture
4theloveofmysis
Posts: 248
Joined: Apr 2011

I am so sorry, Im heartbroken for you. There just are not any words I can thing of to make you feel any better. Friday is the one year mark for my sister and its not a day I want to come. Just know that Im thinking of you and your family. You are an amazing mother.
Brenda

Fight56
Posts: 12
Joined: May 2012

Cindy, like everyone else I am so sorry to hear about David. I continued to read your posts over in the caregiving forums, and how difficult the last few months were for David. I just lost my mum in September. Brain cancer is such a horrible thing, and it's hard to see God's mercy in it. But David is no longer suffering now, and he will be with you always, even if it's not in the way you could have imagined.

Please try to take care of yourself. Easier said than done, I know, but it's important. You did the very best you could to take care of David, now you must show yourself some of that same love.

I hope you will be able to find peace. My thoughts are with you.

Debbye48
Posts: 17
Joined: Mar 2012

I am Praying for you and your Family. May God's peace e with you

Raani01
Posts: 68
Joined: Mar 2011

Cindy, I am so sorry. I don’t know how to comfort you. I always reflect on the statement a mother told the reporters in the local news few years ago when her 3 boys were killed in a car accident. She said “when God gave me the gift of my 3 boys, He didn't promise me how long I could keep them”. I don't know I am telling this means anything in this most difficult time of your life journey. But, it helped me when I went through my husband's illness and even now as it is going to be 3 months in Oct 18 since God has taken Jacob home. I am sharing my thoughts hoping it will give you a moment of comfort. We all are praying for you to find comfort in the good memories of David and the exceptional ability to express your motherly love God blessed you with in caring David.

With love and prayers,
Raani

barbn
Posts: 33
Joined: Jan 2012

I haven't been on this sight since my husband Jesse died Sept 7th and for some reason I was drawn to it this morning. I am so very sorry about David. Know David is in heaven with the heavenly father and is feeling joy and uniting with loved ones he has not seen for awhile.. He is not in any pain any more.
The hard part is the ones left behind.
I miss my husband terriblely.
Take comfort in family and friends. You were a great mother. You did everything you could. God doesn't telly us why he does things we just have to trust him and know he is carrying us right now.
Don't do anything right now. Grieving is what you need to do.
My heartfelt parayers are with you.
Barb Nowak

ktlcs's picture
ktlcs
Posts: 360
Joined: Jan 2010

You don't know me, I am mostly a lurker on the colorectal site as that is the beast that took my husband almost 2 years ago, but I have followed your story and prayed this day would never come for you, David, or anyone else who's life has been touched by this beast we know as cancer.

Stay strong, I know how hard that can be, but it would be what he wanted for you.

"When a loved on becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure"

You will always carry with you the treasure of David's memory

K

cdolive4
Posts: 34
Joined: Sep 2011

Cindy, I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you, and that I'm sending hugs your way. Much love, CindyO

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