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Stage 4 and feeling very alone

strolli
Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2012

I think the worse day of my life is taking chemo and returning to an empty house, I was married to a wonderful man and he died from cancer. I want to be thankful just for being alive, but it is very difficult.

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 796
Joined: Sep 2011

don't feel alone. this site has been wonderful for me! There are worse things than coming home to an empty house...like coming home to a house full of people who don;t care! Enjoy your time and get well. Best, debrajo

SUNGRANNY
Posts: 81
Joined: Dec 2012

Thinking of you and sending thoughts of comfort as you go through treatments.

sylvan48's picture
sylvan48
Posts: 6
Joined: Dec 2012

hi strolli, i know how you feel with the loneliness. my twin brother died in may of this year and i miss him every day. i cried for months and i felt so alone. we were close and talked every day. did the same things in life and he was my rock too. i what it feels like to be alone. he died at home in his bed. i am not worrying about returning to a empty bed after treatment because even if there was a wife there i'm too big for her to fit. she would have to have her own bed. i was married once and my wife ended up on the floor so much she got herself another bedroom to sleep in. we are divorced now but we are still friends. we have a daughter 42 years old. i call my surviving brother frequently also other family members who i can run down. I also live in a senior building with lots of seniors. called the Britton Budd on w. surf street in chicago. i think that coming to this forum was a very wise move you made. it shows that you want to live. and I know i am thankful to be alive accept when i am in pain. when i am not in pain i am happy. so what is your pain stroll? whatever it is i think this forum is one of the place to deal with it. don't you think? good luck to you and i am glad you wrote on this forum cause i needed to hear what you had to say. it is good to know i am not alone in my pain. thanks stroll. good luck

FlaLady's picture
FlaLady
Posts: 5
Joined: Mar 2013

I was stage 3A, lung,, the doctors say I am now cancer free but need chemo just in case.  Going thru chemo, but it is hard.  Just bought the wigs.  As a 'senior' 63 single woman, divorce finalized 2 weeks before I got the results of the PET scan, I can say, for me, the hardest time is the evenging/nights.  Yes, it's hard to be alone in the house.  To all of you who have a spouse to help you and support you, appreciate him or her. 

catmandu
Posts: 6
Joined: Jun 2012

awwww.  dont feel alone.  talk to me if you need someone to talk to.  what kind of cancer do you have?

elpasorudy's picture
elpasorudy
Posts: 81
Joined: Jan 2013

My wife died June 1 from an aggressive cancer. We had been married 44 years. The house seems to have lost its soul without her physical presence. But I do have good memories and there are reminders of her throughut the house. I wear her baseball cap from time to time, and it makes me feel closer to her. I share the house with a cat, and have been busy with getting the home in order, sending out thank you cards, taking care of estate and business details and the like. I'm alone, but I don't feel lonely. Not yet anyway. My family is spread out across the United States, but I have good neighbors here in Florida that provide good support. My philosophy is to take one day at a time, be good to yourself, and do the best you can.

Hen's picture
Hen
Posts: 14
Joined: Sep 2011

It sounds as though you're on the right track of what will be a journey for you.  God bless you.

Folks24
Posts: 104
Joined: Feb 2007

I was an only child. My father died in 1993 empysema and mother in 2001, heart.  My closest relation are 4th cousins about my age all with their own families and living way out of state. I'm female, age 57,  55 when diagnosed.    Other than having one cousin as a long distance shoulder to lean on, I was totally solo except for a couple kitties for comfort.  I can understand somewheat how hard it is being all by yourself to deal with things.

I took care of my folks in their later years os I knew I'd be solo at some point and would have to learn sefl reliance. I may even be at times too much in that respect. Prior to my chemo treatments starting, I tried to be prepared as much as possible scoping out grocery deliveries, lawn care, pet caregivers, home assistance/cleaning, etc so I knew who to call.  I know you can't prepare for everything in life "I sure didn't expect to be in the hospital for 2 wks" but I did the best I could.  Thankfully I could do that initially as I didn't have any symptoms, pain, etc. when they found my lymphoma. I also didn't have anyone else's anxiety, etc to "feed" off of so I better emotionally dealing with things.

I have Sjogrens also and had it prior to the lymphoma. It is an autoimmune type disease that also ups your % a bit to get lymphoma but the type you get is usually very treatable and possibly "curable" which I hope it is.  I knew with Sjogrens there were possibilities of "c*&p"  coming down the pike and I would have to accept those & the limitations. 

michmichfly
Posts: 1
Joined: May 2014

Hi Folks I wrote you a message. First time user dont know if i did it correctly!!

Thanks,

Mich

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