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Cindy thinking of you

4theloveofmysis's picture
4theloveofmysis
Posts: 248
Joined: Apr 2011

Cindy just wanted you to know I was thinking of you today. I was driving down the street and tears starting coming down my face for you. Someone Ive never even met. I hate this cancer. I hate what it has done to our lifes. My heart hurts for you. Im in Calif but sending you a big hug. I hope that you have a peaceful day...
Brenda

baileybell
Posts: 7
Joined: Sep 2011

WV

sadinholland
Posts: 236
Joined: Apr 2011

Me too Cindy! God Bless!

Dan620
Posts: 214
Joined: Dec 2009

Thinking and praying for David, Cindy and family......Dan (Lung Cancer board)

cdolive4
Posts: 34
Joined: Sep 2011

Cindy, just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and David daily in Texas, too. Wishing you peace and blessings. CindyO

cindysuetoyou's picture
cindysuetoyou
Posts: 508
Joined: Dec 2009

Thank you, everyone. I logged on and saw this thread and tears came to my eyes. I am so touched that you all are thinking about me and David. I will update by adding a comment to my last thread, the one where I said "Please God help me be strong until the end.

Love and blessings, with a grateful heart for you,
Cindy

luvs2run's picture
luvs2run
Posts: 8
Joined: Oct 2011

Cindy, When I was first diagnosed last summer your posts drew me to this board; in part because I have the same disease but also because I share the name David with your son. From what I've learned from reading all of your posts, your son was blessed with a fantastic, caring mother. You should be proud of how you've been there for your son. I can tell you when I collapsed and was in the hospital, even though I couldn't speak just knowing my wife was there and loved me gave me a great peace. I'm sure that your David knows how much he is loved and just having you nearby is comforting to him. I wish you and David much peace and strength.

May God bless you both.

Dave

chicken2799's picture
chicken2799
Posts: 105
Joined: Nov 2009

I totally agree with you! Cindy was one of the threads I always looked for when I first started coming back on here. She has been one strong lady, and I feel closeness to her just from her posts and sharing her journey. She is an Awesome Mother!!!

I hope all is well with you as well, I will add you to my prayer list for all my CSN friends (family).

Michelle
Mobile, Al
DX: 10/20/09 AA3

cindysuetoyou's picture
cindysuetoyou
Posts: 508
Joined: Dec 2009

Thank you to all of you for your comments. I am so touched from your words. I'm glad that my posts were ones you wanted to read. I wondered if I wrote too much, was too emotional, too repetitive….I ended up just pouring out my heart and I gave up worrying about what i wrote.

I'm so tired. Not just physically but also mentally weary. I don't know if my posts now will have much to offer, but I wanted to let you know what's going on these days with me and with David.

Today is three weeks without food of any kind for David. I tried to give him two ounces of formula in his peg tube…I think I wrote about that already. He couldn't hold it in. I haven't given him anything since those two ounces. He is still having diarrhea after he gets water. Even if I only give him 2 ounces of water. I don't know how much longer he can go on like this. He seems almost comatose most of the time. He seems to wake up when we change him or change his position, but he is really out of it. It's hard for me to tell if he is in pain or not. If I even slightly suspect he is in pain, I give him morphine. I'd rather dope him up than let him lie there suffering and not being able to tell me.

David's vitals are all strong. I find that amazing, considering that he's living off of about 3 cups of water a day. And a lot of pills.

I am doing my best to live my life one hour at a time. My family is standing strong by me, always supporting, doing whatever they can to try to help me. My sister picks green beans from her garden and cooks them and brings them over because it's one of the few things I feel like eating. It's a small thing, but it helps me.

I haven't been on csn nearly as much as I used to be, but when I do come on, I'm always so glad to see posts from you all.

Love and blessings, always,
Cindy

sadinholland
Posts: 236
Joined: Apr 2011

God bless you! Try to take care of yourself. David wants that. Love and Blessings to you too!

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1616
Joined: Aug 2009

Just prayers and cyber hugs. You are a great mom and I'm sure David feels your love. Fay

connsteele
Posts: 232
Joined: May 2011

Wish I could do or say something that would ease your burden and pain. You are David's angel here on earth and I'm sure he knows that. I hope and pray that you and David can feel the hugs and prayers across cyber space. This is so unfair and I struggle with the question of why this has to happen to such good people. When I too pass from this earthly realm, that 's the first question I will ask.
Hugs,
Connie
Mother of David
2/28/77-4/14/12

cdolive4
Posts: 34
Joined: Sep 2011

Cindy, thanks for keeping us posted on the journey that you and David are sharing - I think of you every day, and pray that you will be sustained during these difficult times. Love you. CindyO

sadinholland
Posts: 236
Joined: Apr 2011

Cindy,
I have learned so much from you and appreciate you sharing on this board. I think about you and David and pray for both of you all the time. I know David knows how much you love him. You are such a wonderful caring mom. Although you may feel you can't hold up much longer, think how far you've come! I bet you didn't think you would have been able to hold up as long as you have. Remember God is right there holding your hand. I'm sure it may not feel like it at times but you know He is. I can only imagine how you are feeling. I know your faith is strong. Not only are you a wonderful mom, you are wonderful for so many of us here. You are a blessing to many of us. I may have said this before, I'm not sure, but your original post about David was the reason I came to this site in the first place. So much knowledge and compassion is always expressed in your post. As much as you have going on, you still take time to comment on and express concern and spread your knowledge on our post and I want to thank you for that. May God continue to bless you and your entire family Cindy. I only wish that I could find the words to say to you that could bless you as much as you have blessed me.

4theloveofmysis's picture
4theloveofmysis
Posts: 248
Joined: Apr 2011

I glad that your sister is making sure that you are taken care of too. I too had stopped coming on here so much. Its way to painful still. But I want check on you. Your on my mind many times through out the day. I feel so connected to you and many of the people on here as we were all on this journey together.
Dont you ever think you wrote too much, or upset anyone. You write beautifully with such expression and love for your son. After my sister passed I went back and copied the things I wrote because this was where I let it out. Where I expressed my self, poured out my heart. I dont have the strentgh to read them yet, because I just cant relive it right now.
Wishing you a peaceful day filled with love and family.
Love Brenda

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