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Hospice Since last post

Posts: 150
Joined: Mar 2011

Hi, It has been a few months since I've posted. My husband, stage iv bc with mets was place on hospice in the middle of July. We decided quality of life over quanity. I don't know if anyone has faced this before, but there are times I feel so guilty. I feel that maybe we made a mistake. Of course the dr did say that the chemo was making him weaker. Since he has been off chemo, he is now confined to a wheelchair. He is such a fighter and wants to live so badly. My husband as you know is 43. Since he has been off the chemo, he is getting weaker, but kind of looks better. Sometimes I feel so guilty because it seems he is dying a slow death. I wonder if there are other cures; however the dr said no more treatments. He wanted us to go ahead a do hospice early and not wait until the last minute. I know so many do. We have had to have mediation because my husband was in so much denial. His denial gave him a false sense of security and he would not listen, would not allow people to help, until about 3 weeks ago he took a terrible fall. He has good days and bad days. I guess this is what happens when a person choose quality over quanity? you think? any similar stories. Please offer insight. Thanks in advance.

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

I am sorry you have reached this point. My husband fought stage 4 colon cancer for six years before losing his battle. He went on hospice for only the last month. I know it feels a little like giving up, but I think it might have been better had he gone on it earlier. The doctor also told him he thought the treatment was just making him feel sicker, and it was. That didn't make the decision easier. He did become weaker and weaker. At one point I had to call our local fire dept. to come help me pick him up from the floor. It is a very difficult time for everyone, family and friends. My thoughts are with you. Hugs, Fay

Posts: 150
Joined: Mar 2011

Back in June, my husband fell one night and I had to run across the street to get my neighbors to help me get him up. The last time was the same, back in August- I think. It is very difficult.

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