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oh no the dreaded family reunion

Cindy Bear
Posts: 560
Joined: Jul 2009

I received an invite to a family get together.. you know the one, aunts, uncles, cousins, the whole sbe-bang..actually it's a 50th anniv party for an aunt and uncle...anyhow,before I even opened the invite I was filled with a sense of dread.... nothing against my relatives.. but the thought of going and my mom not being there.. or my Dad.. just makes me so sad and angry. I really dread the thought of going. I haven't sent my RSVP yet.. I have to by Fri.. my sister is bugging me to go with her. I miss my mom so much. I'm only just now beginning to realize how strong and brave and wonderful she was. How brave thru losing my Dad, going thru chemo, I miss her ... I guess I'll go.... I don't know... How to get beyond these feelings of anger and no fair and why me .

Noellesmom
Posts: 1270
Joined: Aug 2010

Cindy, I know exactly how you are feeling. It is hard to know the way forward without our familiar guideposts, our parents.

Might help to ask yourself what they would do under the same circumstances. Their answer might be that family is forever and that you need to go to support your aunt and uncle. The truth might be closer that you need to be surrounded by people who knew and loved your parents and might gain things you cannot at this point imagine.

Not saying every step of the journey will be easy. You can always say I'm going to get there at four o'clock and leave at 4:30. If 4:30 comes and you are doing okay, move leaving time to 5:00 - you are in charge of how much you can handle.

Hugs. I know this is hard.

katenorwood
Posts: 1800
Joined: May 2012

Hello !
I agree, you should go indeed. I have one coming up on my mother's side on the 23rd. She has been gone for almost three years. Family can never be wrong...and your parents will be with you through out. They are inside of you, let them shine through for others to see ! I'm aprehensive as I now too have a cancer dx. I hate all the questions...and of coarse the stares and whispers. I don't cover my scars, as I wear them with pride. But am hoping for one day....of just fun, no over thinking I guess. Hope you go and have a blast ! Katie

Cindy Bear
Posts: 560
Joined: Jul 2009

Thank you both for the wise words and sage advice. I went. It was good. Bittersweet. But I'm glad I went. I saw my uncles, my aunts, cousins.. we're all getting older, some good news, some bad news. But they are family and I love them. My parents were there in spirit .

Noellesmom
Posts: 1270
Joined: Aug 2010

Very proud of you, Cindy!

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