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Ovarian Cancer/ Hysterectomy/ never being able to have children

EsmerB
Posts: 2
Joined: Aug 2012

Feeling like crap when everyone around you has children friends and family! No one understands me and how painful it is that Cancer closed the door on me being able to have children..
Stage3 Ovarian Cancer and full hysterectomy and both my boyfriend and I don't have children..
I was told about 6 months ago I have cancer and at that time I was only with my boyfriend for 3.5 months. We already moved in together and talked about marriage and kids.. Now sometimes feel that another woman can give him what I can't.
He has been by my side through this whole thing he is Amazing and I know I'm blessed to have such a loving man by my side. But it breaks my heart when I see him holding baby's and the love he has for children. I totally don't allow myself to show emotion about the situation. I tell myself there's no crying in Cancer!!

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1612
Joined: Aug 2009

There is crying in cancer and you have earned the right to cry. Life really isn't fair sometimes. I'm sorry you are going through this. You might want to consider counseling to help you through. Don't close any doors right now. You are grieving for the life you expected and may need professional help to learn how to handle this new life that cancer has forced on you. It sounds like your boyfriend is sticking by you. Don't push him away. Talk to him about your feelings. Explore your options. Is adoption a possibility? What about surrogacy? Right now your grief is too new and agonizing. Take time to heal. Know that you are not alone. I am sorry that you find yourself here. These are the boards none of us wanted to be a part of. Welcome, though. We are here for you. We can't change what cancer has done to you, but we can offer support. Come whenever you need support or to vent. Hugs, Fay

katenorwood
Posts: 1818
Joined: May 2012

Yes, yes you can cry ! Cancer takes so much from so many. I am so sorry that this dx has hit you so hard. You have a good man standing beside you, let him be there for you ! Heal from everything including the emotional hurt you're feeling right now. Then make decissions on the rest of your life. One tiny step at a time...also ask about issues you will be facing due to a radical hysterectomy. I've had one, and I know they aint no fun ! Keep posting, there are alot of people that can understand you, and just be there for you..even if it's just to listen. Katie

KTeacher
Posts: 909
Joined: Jan 2011

I am a cancer survivor but cancer was not the reason that I couldn't get pregnant. It sounds like you have a good man. Talk honestly with him. Do not ever think that you are not good enough. Give yourself a break and CRY, it is cleansing. You can be the best auntie and uncle to your friends kids or you can look into adoption. My husband and I have 2 adopted children, long wait, not easy emotionally but well worth it. I am now a grandma 3 times, twin grandson's from my son and his wife and a 1 month old granddaughter with my daughter. When God closes a door He opens a window.

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