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my husband

tiredmama4
Posts: 1
Joined: Aug 2012

Hi my jim was diagnosis with his esophageal cancer on march 28th of this year. he had a chemo port put in his chest and a feeding tube put in his small intestine on april 27th .his esophagus was shut off by the tumor,it is at the top of his stomach it has grown out and around his main artery,and into 4 lymph nodes. he has lost 139 lbs from 265 . he has had 45 radiation treatments,,and 4 chemo, he was supposed to have more chemo but his blood got so low they had to give him 2 pints. he is so weak and lays in his at home hospital bed watching tv, throws up acid and , the dr wanted to put him into the hospital and do a 4 day high dose chemo , but my husband is saying he dont want the treatment. i am his only caregiver and i dont know what to do. has anyone else had a case like this? is my husband on the way out? should we seek another dr? Should i try and get him to take the treatment? oh yes he is in almost constant pain.

Amjosmom's picture
Amjosmom
Posts: 231
Joined: Jun 2012

I'm sorry it's come to this. If he doesn't want the chemo, then what more can you do? All you can do is lay out his options, tell him your opinions, make sure you know his wishes and wait for him to decide. Hospice can make him comfortable. Did he get a feeding tube? Is he taking anything for the reflux? It never hurts to seek out a new doc. He shouldn't be in pain. The doc should be doing SOMETHING about it! No one can tell you if he's on his way out for sure, but if he's telling you he can't fight any more, then listen. Make peace with his decision and make sure he knows you love him and will support him no matter what.

Best wishes, Mama!

~Jayme
Dad Stage IV since 2010

paul61's picture
paul61
Posts: 1115
Joined: Apr 2010

It is always difficult to determine when "enough is enough" it sounds like your husband's oncologist needs to get involved in dealing with his quality of life issues. It is difficult to make an objective decision about additional treatment when you are in constant pain. I would suggest you consider engaging your husband's doctor to see if he can address the pain and acid re-flux issues with appropriate medication.

Perhaps a short stay in the hospital prior to further treatment to manage your husband's side effects would be helpful in deciding what to do next.

Another option would be to engage hospice to see if they can help your husband. Calling in hospice does not mean "giving up" you can enter hospice care and then go back into treatment if it seems promising later. But your husband should not have to live with constant pain and acid re-flux. These are things that can be managed with appropriate medications. It may be time to consult with a different doctor.

Best Regards,

Paul Adams
Grand Blanc, Michigan

DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0 Stage IIB
12/03/2009 Ivor Lewis
2/8 through 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
Two year survivor

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!

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