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My life change all of the sudden

ailuj33
Posts: 8
Joined: Aug 2012

I am 39 years old, and i have a 6 years old daughter, i was being married for 7 years. On May 23rd I went to the ER for a stomach pain and they told me I had a tumor in my colon and it was cancer, I stayed at the hospital for 10 days my mom came from Mexico, to help me out.
I went home on Jun and it was really hard, to get back to normal like my daughter said.
After a few weeks being home and having my momma helping to do everything, like bathe, get dressed, etc., and going back an fort to see the surgeon, the oncologist.
My husband never support me, never even once attempt to help me in any way, i was really frustrated, depressed, because they said my cancer is Stage IV and i will need chemo for 6 months. One day on thursday Jun 21st we have a fight and he ask me to leave his house, to be gone, he did this in front of my mom, and my daughter and our daughter said Daddy if momma leaves I am leaving with her. And he said ok.
I left and stayed over his sister for a week, the people at work my friends help me to find a place to live, and give me furniture, and give me money to put the downpayment, and first month rent, i went back to work on Jun 25th, and thank god I am in a better place, I am working I just missed the days that i have chemo, so yes it is really hard and difficult but is a lot of people that really care for us, that we never even thought they would.
My husband not even once said he is sorry, or even admit he said a mistake.
I guess he never care for me, but right now i dont have time to think about what happen, i need to work, take care of my daughter, and deal with the chemo.
For some reason we have these disease, or we are blessed with this disease.

A lot of the issues that i have on my marriage, are clear now HE NEVER CARE ABOUT ME...

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1613
Joined: Aug 2009

Im sorry you are having to go through all of this. I'm glad that you have found friends and family who care and are willing to help. Best of luck with your chemo. I hope you continue to be able to work. Come here when you need to vent. As a caregiver, I can never understand how anyone can walk away from a spouse with cancer or any other disease. Sadly, many seem to do that. Somehow they missed the " in sickness and in health" part of the wedding vows. Right now you need to take care of your daughter and yourself. Hugs and prayer, Fay

barbebarb's picture
barbebarb
Posts: 464
Joined: Oct 2011

I read your story and my heart aches for what you experienced with your husband.
I am glad you have friends from work helping you and your daughter.
You can get through the chemo. I hope your mom can help you.
I am a stage iv colon cancer fighter. Had two surgeries and chemo.
There are many supportive people on the colorectal board.
I don't understand how he could walk out on you and your daughter but my exhusbandand I weren't getting along in 2008
when I was first diagnosed and he didn't ask many questions nor was supportive.
Try to stay focused on you and your daughter and find a support group or church support too.
They can provide resources to help you with meals and support for your daughter.
Sending prayers your way.

ailuj33
Posts: 8
Joined: Aug 2012

I was diagnosed with stage IV, and at first i really didnt understood what they were telling me because everything was new for me...

I guess this is a sign of god, telling me that i am worth more than being wasting my life with my husband, is just sad that it has to happen something like that to make me realize how different we are...
But is really good to be able to talk to somebody else that know what i am talking about, how i am feeling, and sometimes right after chemo when i am sick, i just wish it was different, and i want to quit, but when everything goes back to normal, i know i can do it...

I find a support group close, but is open just monday through friday, the days that i work and right now i can't miss, but it will be nice keep in touch...

Thank you...

ailuj33
Posts: 8
Joined: Aug 2012

Thank you i know like they say what doesnt kill you make you stronger, is a long process and it hurts...

I know god is with me in every step, he just make the road a little rocky, but i need to keep in going for my daughter she still to little, to understand thank god that i have my mom, that she never give up, and dont let me get sad, or depress.

Thank you for the prayers i need those... :)

anliperez915's picture
anliperez915
Posts: 751
Joined: Sep 2011

Really sorry that you are going through this difficult time but I'm positive that you will get through this and will be a stronger person for it. As for your husband he is not worth it, don't waste your time and energy thinking about him. Take care of yourself and your daughter

Hablo espanol por si quieres platicar, me puedes mandar un mensage privado...

Sincerely,
Liz

ailuj33
Posts: 8
Joined: Aug 2012

Thank you so much...

No se como mandar un mensaje privado y ahorita la unica manera de conectarme es en el trabajo, pero espero pronto poder tener la oportunidad de conectarme en la casa y entonces me gustaria mucho poder platicar contigo...
Gracias...

here4lfe
Posts: 295
Joined: Jan 2010

It seems men more than women bail. Get yourself a support system. ST4 CC is no fun (you can read my wife's profile under my name), but there are those for whom treatment works.

Best.

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