Aug 19, 2012 - 8:31 pm
I finished my chemo in early May and then had a pet scan which showed a small residual mass with an SUV of 3. I was sent back to the specialist to see if he thought I needed a SCT and he told me that the metabolic activity could be caused by the chemo or scar tissue. So, he recommended that I have radiation. This was actually great news, because a CT scan done after my 5th treatment showed that my mass had only shrunk by half, so my doctor was afraid that I had stopped responding to treatment. So, now I am half way through my radiation and I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. Here's the problem, I always thought that the end of my treatment would be a happy time, but boy was I wrong. Instead I am in constant fear that my cancer will come back. I had a terrible day today and have cried most of the day. I am mostly worried that my cancer will come back and I will lose my job and wont have any health insurance. I feel so crazy, worrying about something that has not happened yet and may not even happen. Is this fear and anxiety normal or am I losing my mind? All I want is to be happy and feel normal again.