Aug 13, 2012 - 8:52 am
Mum had breast cancer for about 28 years before she finally died 8 years ago at the age of 90. I adored my mother, we took her and dad shopping every fortnight for about 17 yrs. Even though she was 90 when she died, I was totally shattered. It doesn't happen quite so much now, but I have weird dreams about her. She's alive and doing things, but I know she's also dead. In my dreams I can see her grave and yet she's also active in what I'm doing. I ask people, in my dream, how can it be that she's alive, yet I know she's dead because I went to her funeral and I've seen her grave. The people in my dream don't answer me, or just tell me not to worry about it. In a way I love seeing her and having her alive again, if only in my dream, but then I wake up and the reality hits me that she really is dead.
When she first died, I dreamed that she was standing by a wall looking at me and I saw her very clearly. I saw my sister and I said look, it's mum, and she's real. I got right up close to mum about to embrace her, and she disappeared.
I don't have the dreams about her so often now, but still fairly often. I miss her so much.