Walking the walk talking the talk

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katenorwood
katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
in Head and Neck Cancer #1
Hello everyone,
I want to commend you all in your survivorships first of all, each and everyone of you are true fighters and I have been proud to read all of your posts and giggle at your antics. But guys please don't take me wrong in this but....I read a post and felt you packed on a survivor only asking for rad advice. We are not here to judge, but to inspire and help each other through a crap load of issues. We all have different dx's, and we all have different life styles. Am I any better than you because I feel quality of life means more to me than quanity. NO...or am I complaining you get to have treatments not available for my dx ? Again NO. I think the wisdom of this group is immense, but please remember we all are only human...and no one is immune to fear, and hurt. I cried last night, and feel that we can do much better for one another. Warmest regards to each and everyone of you ! Katie

Comments

  • Tonsil Dad
    Tonsil Dad Member Posts: 488
    #2
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    To each there own
    I mostly give support and encouragment for my family of friends
    on here and I also ask for encouragment and support but I do not
    give or tell people what treatment to choose wether they fight and live
    or they don't and die, it is their decision not mine. I will be a cheer leader
    like the rest of you.
    When I first joined the board back in Dec 2011 my first post was wether
    I should have the TORS surgery , neck disection chemo & rads or rads&chemo
    and I got lots of great advice from everyone but ultimatly it was my decision
    and in the end I chose just Rads (I refused chemo) and I have to live with
    that. I'm also a little outspoken about alternatives which I truly believe in.
    Any way I don't think that people on here were "ganging up" on anyone, I
    personaly thing it is hard to see anyone not to fight this beast but then
    again I have not walked in there shoes.

    God bless
    Tonsil dad,

    Dan.
  • longtermsurvivor
    longtermsurvivor Member Posts: 1,842 Member
    #3
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    I guess it depends
    on how you define advice. this board is for whatever people want to make of it. If it is only for agreement, then you are exactly right. If it is about survivorship, then sometimes honesty is brutal.

    best


    Pat
  • ratface
    ratface Member Posts: 1,337 Member
    #4
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    longtermsurvivor said:

    I guess it depends
    on how you define advice. this board is for whatever people want to make of it. If it is only for agreement, then you are exactly right. If it is about survivorship, then sometimes honesty is brutal.

    best


    Pat

    We are thrown together
    by common ground. I belong to a Jeep forum, a finance forum, a tractor forum, a chess forum, and yes "this forum". We all found our way here by typing something in a search engine, i.e. oral cancer, IMRT, Neck Cancer, neck dissection, Peg tube, yet these are all different, as are we. How wonderful that this is true so that your perspective will be different than mine. We as a collective group have one disadvantage, "Blindness". We sit in a virtual circle of conversation with only the written word at our disposal. We must look into each others eyes and yet this is not possible, or is it? That Katie is expressing her concern and compassion for Don is her essence and her goodness. I'm glad she is part of the group. In reality it is only "Truth" that can remove our blindfolds in a cyber group such as this. I'm comfortable with any of you in the chair next to me as long as you say what's on your mind and you believe it to be true. From there we can talk about it. Katie, I respectfully disagree with your perception that Don was violated, on the contrary it was his truthfulness that was contagious and I am sorry that it caused you such pain.
  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #5
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    Tonsil Dad said:

    To each there own
    I mostly give support and encouragment for my family of friends
    on here and I also ask for encouragment and support but I do not
    give or tell people what treatment to choose wether they fight and live
    or they don't and die, it is their decision not mine. I will be a cheer leader
    like the rest of you.
    When I first joined the board back in Dec 2011 my first post was wether
    I should have the TORS surgery , neck disection chemo & rads or rads&chemo
    and I got lots of great advice from everyone but ultimatly it was my decision
    and in the end I chose just Rads (I refused chemo) and I have to live with
    that. I'm also a little outspoken about alternatives which I truly believe in.
    Any way I don't think that people on here were "ganging up" on anyone, I
    personaly thing it is hard to see anyone not to fight this beast but then
    again I have not walked in there shoes.

    God bless
    Tonsil dad,

    Dan.

    Well said !
    Dan,
    This is what I'm talking about, thank you ! I too am now headed towards the alternative route as my C has few options in the here and now. Katie
  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #6
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    longtermsurvivor said:

    I guess it depends
    on how you define advice. this board is for whatever people want to make of it. If it is only for agreement, then you are exactly right. If it is about survivorship, then sometimes honesty is brutal.

    best


    Pat

    Well said !
    Pat,
    No I never want to hear false thoughts. Honesty is always the best of the best ! But was the question answered on effects of rads ? Maybe as usual I read to much into it, and if so I am the one who is confused. As always Pat the best to you ! Katie
  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #7
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    ratface said:

    We are thrown together
    by common ground. I belong to a Jeep forum, a finance forum, a tractor forum, a chess forum, and yes "this forum". We all found our way here by typing something in a search engine, i.e. oral cancer, IMRT, Neck Cancer, neck dissection, Peg tube, yet these are all different, as are we. How wonderful that this is true so that your perspective will be different than mine. We as a collective group have one disadvantage, "Blindness". We sit in a virtual circle of conversation with only the written word at our disposal. We must look into each others eyes and yet this is not possible, or is it? That Katie is expressing her concern and compassion for Don is her essence and her goodness. I'm glad she is part of the group. In reality it is only "Truth" that can remove our blindfolds in a cyber group such as this. I'm comfortable with any of you in the chair next to me as long as you say what's on your mind and you believe it to be true. From there we can talk about it. Katie, I respectfully disagree with your perception that Don was violated, on the contrary it was his truthfulness that was contagious and I am sorry that it caused you such pain.

    I knew I could count on you !
    Ratface,
    Yes sometimes my compassion and determination to leave this world a little better than I see it today clouds my thinking. Thank you my friend, and no I don't necessarily disagree with most of the posts. It caught me off guard, as my world is spinning a little cockeyed lately. I guess my tears last night were for the frustration and anger at cancer as a whole. You all are wonderful, and I only wish the best of the best for us all ! You are a welcomed part of this ratface...you always have words of wisdom, and a quiet way of getting at the heart of the matter. And yes everyone, it's ok to agree to disagree. Katie
  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    #8
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    ratface said:

    We are thrown together
    by common ground. I belong to a Jeep forum, a finance forum, a tractor forum, a chess forum, and yes "this forum". We all found our way here by typing something in a search engine, i.e. oral cancer, IMRT, Neck Cancer, neck dissection, Peg tube, yet these are all different, as are we. How wonderful that this is true so that your perspective will be different than mine. We as a collective group have one disadvantage, "Blindness". We sit in a virtual circle of conversation with only the written word at our disposal. We must look into each others eyes and yet this is not possible, or is it? That Katie is expressing her concern and compassion for Don is her essence and her goodness. I'm glad she is part of the group. In reality it is only "Truth" that can remove our blindfolds in a cyber group such as this. I'm comfortable with any of you in the chair next to me as long as you say what's on your mind and you believe it to be true. From there we can talk about it. Katie, I respectfully disagree with your perception that Don was violated, on the contrary it was his truthfulness that was contagious and I am sorry that it caused you such pain.

    Tough Journey
    It's a tough journey we are all trying to get through. As with every thread, I felt like everyone was trying to be honest and helpful. I truly regret that any of the responses were seen as judgmental and upsetting. I'm confident that wasn't anyone's intent.
  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #9
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    hwt said:

    Tough Journey
    It's a tough journey we are all trying to get through. As with every thread, I felt like everyone was trying to be honest and helpful. I truly regret that any of the responses were seen as judgmental and upsetting. I'm confident that wasn't anyone's intent.

    Indeed a tough one !
    hwt,
    Well I agree with this statement...not one of us would intentionally hurt another. And you are right, it is indeed a tough walk we're all on. You helped me see I was maybe the one who was judgemental. Like I said above this site is full of inspirational, well versed people. Thank you hwt ! Katie
  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    #10
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    katenorwood said:

    Indeed a tough one !
    hwt,
    Well I agree with this statement...not one of us would intentionally hurt another. And you are right, it is indeed a tough walk we're all on. You helped me see I was maybe the one who was judgemental. Like I said above this site is full of inspirational, well versed people. Thank you hwt ! Katie

    Katie
    We're all fighting as hard as we can. The emotions run high for all of us and I think more so with Don's thread than normal. A full moon will do it every time :-)
  • ToBeGolden
    ToBeGolden Member Posts: 695
    #11
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    Need to acknowledge.
    I may have posted one of the more brutal replies. And Katie, I feel I must acknowledge your comments. I promise to consider them. Your thoughts are appreciated. Rick.
  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,722 Member
    #12
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    be careful what you ask for
    Katie,

    You got me. I went back and read my advice, but it was too late to edit. Most of the time I know when to respond appropriately. I think he got the (no bars hold) advice he requested, but granted it could have been accomplished with a little more humility.

    I only listened to everyone all through treatments, I never asked a question. If I had asked something last November, it may have been different but similar and I would have been afraid to participate again if I had response like yesterday.

    I fall on my sword and wash my mouth with the cyber soap and I am sorry to have offended you or him.

    Best,

    Matt

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