How do I deal with losing my best friend to cancer after I have survived it??
I have survivors guilt and don't know how to deal with it.
did not cause this, you could not have prevented it.
Give yourself time to grieve and acknowledge your loss. Find a support group - there are many, some on-line.
Your friend would, no doubt, want you to enjoy your life and even do some things on his or her behalf. Donate a book to the library at your friend's elementary school in his name: write a check to a local charity she supported.
Don't waste time with guilt: it is pointless and unnecessary.