CSN Login
Members Online: 3

How do you cope with the outlook for Ovarian Cancer?

kale1972
Posts: 36
Joined: Jun 2012

I hate to make anyone fearful, but the outlook for this cancer is not too promising. For those of you that are diagnosed with it, how do you cope? I am just freaked out, of course. I was looking forward to feeling a bit better after surgery, but now I feel like, so what's next to deteriorate and need to be removed?! I know this is a depressing post, but it is where I am at mentally right now. I feel like after surgery I am just going to wait for the next bad news.

kayandok
Posts: 1223
Joined: Jun 2008

I feel like I could write a book. There is no one answer, really, but that is what we learn to do. I was dx 5 years ago this month with ovca 3C grade 3 (most aggressive) and was told I had 6 months to a year to live. It has been one day at a time and one decision at a time. Each time I had to pull myself up, hang onto my support system, and put on my big girl pants. What I do know for sure is that there is a God and He has given me strength when I thought I had none left.

Hang in there and don't hesitate to come and share anything anytime.

Prayers for you,
kathleen

kale1972
Posts: 36
Joined: Jun 2012

Thank you Kathleen. I know God is in control. I just don't fell His peace and comfort right now. I am seeking but I am just too scared to sit still and experience it. What type of treatments have you done?

kayandok
Posts: 1223
Joined: Jun 2008

Too many to count. You can read an outline if you click my profile name. In my case, because the cancer is so aggressive, and I can handle it, I have had a second and third debulk surgery before continuing chemo. But, at the beginning of the journey, if you would have told me that was the plan, I would have said, "No way!". It has come one decision, one step at a time and each time, some how I had the strength to make it.

I have had many many days like you are describing. It is KNOWING but not WANTING to let God be the one to call the shots, afterall we know best, don't we? My issue has been, from the beginning, that I know God decides the number of my days, but do I really trust Him to do that? I always thought I did,until this dx hit, and I still had kids to raise, thing to do, etc etc. In order to build that trust, I have intentionally cultivated gratitude and planted tiny seeds of joy in my heart (just little stuff) that have in turn built trust in God. Weird how it has worked. You see you can't say,"Thank you for this or that to someone/God if you don't trust them. A book that has really helped me in doing this is called, "one thousand gifts". You may be interested in checking it out.

This is a huge loss that hits us out of nowhere, and the grieving process we all go through is brutal. The denal, anger, depresssion, negotiation and eventually acceptance is inevitabe, but so painful. Just process it as much as you can, take a break and move on, do what you have to do. When the grief hits, allow yourself to process again. Eventually, you will be surprised that you do move through it some how. Meanwhile, ask yourself every day, "What do I need today to take care of myself that wll help me heal?" It could be a walk, a starucks date with a friend, a hot bath, a sad movie to let all the tears out, a hike, making yourself your favorite dessert, a long nap, a traq AND a nap, a walk on the beach, being creative (I havr taken up making earings out of bead and wire) I find it so therapautic, that i am now making them a gifts. It is so healig and fun to know, I can give and bless someone else. The tiny seed o joy of creatin comes full circle, and now i can share a bit of joy, and also receive gratitude.

I have also found a great onco support group that has been a huge help for me. I have also connected personally with other long term survivors and picked their brain on their treatments and copng styles. Just when I think I'm done for this world, a new little door opens somewhere. THen I keep going on. I really don't know how many more months or years I have, but plan on living it to my best, having a blast, cultultivating gratitude, and loving those around me, being in the moment. What else is there? Wallowing in grief is neccessary at times, but does lead to bitterness and is kind of boring after awhile.....

Take the next step you need to take, don't think about the next one, until you need to, and the info. strength, and help will be there to do it. The flip side is that this surgery, chemo will do the trick and you coud sail ito remision forever!!!! You never know......

Hope this is not TMI and something in here is helpful. Just spit out the seeds, and eat the fruit that applies to you,

Warm hugs and prayers,
K❤

kale1972
Posts: 36
Joined: Jun 2012

Thanks for the sweet response!I am familiar with the book "one thousand gifts". It is sure crazy how our persepctive changes with these things. We think we are grateful for the blessings in our lives, but we just do not understand how much we actually take for granted!!

Gottalovelife
Posts: 45
Joined: Feb 2012

I take an antidepressant which helps, might be something for you to consider, just the word cancer is so fearful, having a strong faith in God, great family and friends help alot. It doesn't help that when people hear that you have cancer they look at you like you have been handed a death sentence, but that is not true, the women on this board are so strong and courageous, and if you look around you will find a lot of longtime survivors. I know it is so difficult to figure out how to carry on because of everything you read about ovarian cancer is so scary, but don't believe everything you read. Everybody tells me to have faith and believe but there are days that I just say why me, what did I do to deserve this, just want to beat my head up against the wall, because it is a struggle. But you need to realize there are so many wonderful things in this life to live for and there will be days that you forget you have cancer believe it or not. I think we all have our good days and our bad, I am only 8 months NED and I have had a lot of bad bad bad days but the good out ways the bad. It does get easier with time though, so hang in there.

Kristy2012's picture
Kristy2012
Posts: 3
Joined: Jun 2012

I remember that I kicked cancer's ass last year and that I'll do it again if I have to.

I know that my surgeon and oncologist are amazed at how well I got through surgery and treatment and are thrilled with my recovery.

I accept the fact that this cancer could return and there's nothing I can do about it.

Then I look at my 3 year old son and tell myself that if no one else needs me he does and I will fight tooth and nail to be here for him until I'm old and grey.

Finally I believe that God has a plan and I cannot change it. I just pray that His plan is to give me a long life.

Tethys41's picture
Tethys41
Posts: 1057
Joined: Sep 2010

There is a book titled "Cancer as a Turning Point." I looked at this disease as a wake up call. I was not living my life right and I had to make some changes. I felt like you do, that my connection with any higher power was so far away, when I was diagnosed. But in hindsight, it was there all the time.
I did not let the doctors talk to me about prognosis. It is a shame that someone has already planted that seed. But honestly, you can beat the odds. I learned long after I was done with treatment, that my doctor wasn't giving me a year. That was almost 3 years ago. I did integrative treatment throughout my chemo, working with a naturopath. I strongly recommend this approach to anyone going through this disease. We have rectified so many imbalances in my body, and monitor my cancer risk. It does not appear that there is any risk of a recurrance in my near future. And if things change, she can address them even before my CA-125 starts to rise. I might take all of her advice with some doubt, but she is a 20 year ovarian cancer suvivor herself.
Please don't let hopelessness take control of you. Find something to do to be proactive and take an active role in your situation. That will help with your outcome. The book "Anti-Cancer" is a primer for the things I am doing to stay healthy.

kale1972
Posts: 36
Joined: Jun 2012

Thanks so much!I have always used a naturopath. Before this I had not used an MD for over 15 yrs. I have always practiced natural health. What state are you in? Can you please give me the website or info for your naturopath? How can I connect with you off this site? Your story is inspiring!!

Tethys41's picture
Tethys41
Posts: 1057
Joined: Sep 2010

You can go to CSN Email - in the left, pink box - to send a private message. I am located in Colorado. My naturopath's website is: http://namastehealthcenter.com/
She's currently working with at least three dozen ovarian cancer patients, from all over the U.S., and a couple from overseas.

kikz's picture
kikz
Posts: 1284
Joined: Jun 2010

I must say. I have learned a lot along this journey, mostly about myself. I have learned how strong I am. I have learned that I tend to see the bright side of things. I have realized how much I love my life.

I decided at the very beginning never to ask why me? If I ask why me it is inferring that I wished someone else had his disease, which I don't. I don't ask why now? When I see how young many of the women are who come to this site, I feel blessed that I was 62 when diagnosed.

I sailed through all my treatments (well, chemo was a b*tch) but I mean to say it all worked as it was supposed to. It got me into remission. I was in remission for about 18 months before my CA 125 rose. The next one rose again and I just had a pet scan on Wednesday; I am waiting for the results today.

I must admit the first CA 125 that increased knocked me down for a couple of days but when I was told results of the next one I was disappointed but okay. Now I am waiting for the pet scan results and it's funny I am not that nervous. I know from experience that I will handle it. As someone else said, what else can we do? I refuse to let the disease run my life. I realize I have minimal control over that but I have complete control over how I deal with it.

If the news I receive is not what I want to hear, I don't know what the next step will be. I didn't ask. It's a step at a time and I still have hope at least for the next few hours that there is no need for the next step.

It does get better. Our minds have a way of putting things into perspective; maybe even a little denial. That's okay, too.

You have found the perfect place to let all your feelings and fears out. The women on this board have been through it all and with such grace and dignity. I am amazed by it.

We all have our down time but we bounce back. Time is too precious to waste and that is one of the important lessons I have received.

My best to you.

Karen

leesag's picture
leesag
Posts: 625
Joined: Jan 2010

I'll admit, the first year was rough. Then I got the news about metastes--suddenly it wasn't poor me anymore (not that I ever felt that way) but it was let's kick butt. I've made it almost an entire year treatment free since January 2010, and I just keep on keepin' on. Of course Celexa and Ativan are helpful as well! ;)

Bless you and Hugs,

Leesa
PS There are lots of the outlook isn't good for, and yet we continue to go outside without an umbrella when there's a 90% chance of rain!

lovesanimals's picture
lovesanimals
Posts: 1283
Joined: Sep 2011

I was lucky in that when I was diagnosed in September 2010, my co-worker, who was a seven-year ovarian cancer 3C survivor at the time, was sitting beside me, holding my hand. I had sitting next to me a person who not only defied the odds by still being alive but she was living life to its fullest, and still is now. While she has had her share of maintenance chemo over the years, she hasn't let that stop her from traveling every single year to places such as Ireland, Italy, China, and Russia plus doing lots of things here with family and friends. I have a hard time getting together with her because she's so busy! My friend is a good example of why I don't pay much attention to statistics and odds concerning our cancer. I try not to look too far into the future and instead, live and enjoy each day as best I can.

Sending you prayers and lots of hugs,

Kelly

Sara2011's picture
Sara2011
Posts: 77
Joined: Oct 2011

I have found in facing cancer it has been a test of whether or not I truly believe what God says. Our flesh fails us, but God is still our strength and our portion forever. He has not changed! When I begin to get fearful or discouraged about what I'm going through...I'm continually drawn back to spending time with the Lord in His Word for strength and renewal, and it makes a huge difference in my outlook. We all know cancer is a life threatening disease and none of us are ready to give up this life, so we just keep trusting in God's promises....and fighting the cancer....trusting and fighting....trusting and fighting. That's how I cope.

kale1972
Posts: 36
Joined: Jun 2012

Oh sara your faith is so strong! How beautiful!! I know this is all in the Lord's hands, all I can do is trust in Him through it all!

Sara2011's picture
Sara2011
Posts: 77
Joined: Oct 2011

"In the world you will have tribulation, but be of good courage....I have overcome the world!" We are not merely survivors....we are overcomers! There is hope! Prayed for you tonight!

Mwee's picture
Mwee
Posts: 1316
Joined: Nov 2009

We all deal with this issue everyday. It's our new reality. I'm a six year, 3C survivor and I remember so well when I first heard the odds of a five year survival. My thoughts immediately went to my three granddaughters. I cope by reminding myself that it doesn't take looking very far to see that there are others around me who fight even tougher hardships. One of my best friends died from HIV contracted from merely having sex with what turned out to be the wrong partner. She found out after trying to donate blood! This was the time of AIDS hysteria and the poor thing kept her condition hidden in fear of losing her job and being shunned by society. We, at least have support systems, like this board, where we can share.
((((HUGS))) Maria

poopergirl14052's picture
poopergirl14052
Posts: 1179
Joined: Nov 2010

....live in the moment and lots of support..and prayers....Val

kimberly sue 63's picture
kimberly sue 63
Posts: 408
Joined: Apr 2012

You are so right Maria. We do have support and it makes a world of difference when you are dealing with disease. It is so important to our human nature to not feel alone. I am thankful for my support I have at home, work, and friends. BUT.... I am also so thankful for my virtual friends who understand this disease because they are right where I am. Thanks to all of you!

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network