Jun 19, 2012 - 3:08 pm
It’s been a long time since I’ve posted. A lot has happened. I won’t bother with the details of the blood clots and blood transfusions, We all know how hard chemo is on the body. I was waiting for some bit of good news before posting again, but it never came.
The Taxotere stopped working. Then the doc wanted me to start Irinotecan, but I had planned a family vacation in the Caribbean. My husband and I have enjoyed the British Virgin Islands many times over the years, and now I wanted to share it with our loved ones. I rented a large villa and my son, his significant other, my sisters and a favorite cousin all joined us. It was a dream come true even though I wasn’t able to enjoy the beach the way I used to.
But putting off the chemo until after the trip had its price. I started chemo right after returning from vacation in mid-May and even after 4 rounds, it was obviously too late to stop the spread of the cancer. There doesn’t seem to be anything that will slow it down. I do not regret my choices though. I think I was able to give my family some good memories.
I think I have now reached the point of “enough is enough” and have decided to stop all chemo treatment. I’m meeting with home hospice (I feel very fortunate to live in a community that has an excellent home hospice program), and am coming to grips with this new development.
To be completely honest, I am not yet at peace with the turn of events. I feel I still have some fight left in me, but I realize the toll it’s taking on my body and my family, especially my dear husband. I owe a lot to Bailey here. Anyone who’s followed her ordeal and read her advice knows what I mean. I also want to give special thanks to Mr. Marshall for all you’ve done and all you will continue to do for everyone on this board.
I hope I find some peace once the hospice is in place. I am lucky to have some wonderful friends and family. I have a lot to be grateful for.
Sam, I think of you all the time and so glad you have found it in your heart to share your journey with the rest of us. I don’t know that I have that kind of strength.
May we all find the peace we all richly deserve, every one of us.