Three years ago in January I was in love, engaged and pregnant; three months after that I lost the baby and another month after that I got my first abnormal pap. A year later and 3 LEAP procedures later the doctor said he got it all. My emotions throughout the whole experience were like I was in permanent PMS mode. A year after dealing with the loss, diagnosis, treatment, and PMS my fiance decided it was enough, I got my good results and I was going to get better and we could move on. Four month check up, good; eight month check up good. I had started my life again, going back to school, got a new boyfriend, new job, everything was doing great.
One year after the doctor removed 3/4 of my cervix and told me I was in the clear, I get another bad PAP. This one is really bad, but when the doctor does the COLP it doesn't look as severe, still bad but not as bad as my PAP. I had a 2 months and a period between the PAP and the COLP but nothing else. I am 24 and have never had a child. My new boyfriend is great and really understands me, being sick, and really knows how to be supportive. I have to go through DNA testing and the doctor has me on a "sit and wait" order. We have to wait to see what to do and it's killing me emotionally. I've always wanted to eventually have kids I always thought I had time and here I am starting off a new relationship (6 months in) and not only do I have cancer but my doctors telling me that "it really wouldn't be a bad thing to try to have a child now". I know adoption is always available when I'm ready but ever since I saw my nephew I've dreamed of having my own children.
I am frequently emotional and just need to get my story out there. My doctor is currently trying to preserve what he can for me but the list of treatments the "necessary" organs is getting shorter and I'm getting nervous.