Chilangiocarsinoma

This is my first post so I’m not quite sure how to begin. My mom (80 y/o) was admitted to the hospital. We noticed her skin yellowing and she was having chills and itching. After going to the doctor we were told that these were symptoms of cancer of the bile ducts. After several tests the doctors could see a mass but could not pinpoint cancer. Her symptoms continued. They inserted stents in her ducts to help with the draining. This did help with the yellowing and other symptoms but the stent kept dislodging bringing back the symptoms. As a family we are scared and confused because after several weeks we still didn't have an absolute diagnosis. We finally check her into Ohio State University hospital where we found that they seem better equipped than Grant Hospital. We finally decided to do a procedure called Spyglass which still produced benign samples. We we're kind of encouraged but doctors quickly told us that they were absolutely sure she has cancer. Finally a decision was made to go in and take samples and decide what to do. The procedure was supposed to last about 4 hours, they returned after one hour and said they found it and it had spread to other areas and is spreading fast. We have an appointment with the oncologist today. We were told that it was staged as level 4. I guess my question is what do I ask the oncologist, what would be her quality of life if she undergoes chemo, has anyone here experienced the same as we went through? We were told that if nothing was done that it wouldn't be long, if chemo was done it would be a little longer, we don't know what to do. My mom is feisty for 80 and s pissed that she has this because she's never been seriously ill. She is of strong faith and has a strong support group. This is hard because all of the kids live in other states and it is hard for us to get off work, pay for flights and be here. Her moving to where we are is not an option, she doesn't want to. Just wanted to hear what others had to say with similar frustrations.