CSN Login
Members Online: 9

kitchen towels

Cindy Bear
Posts: 563
Joined: Jul 2009

I was cleaning out the linen closet this morning (a job long overdue) and I found a set or brand new kitchen towels, and potholders that my mom had bought me some years back. That made me smile and want to cry, but mostly smile. It's like she was saying, see I'm still here, still looking out for you. It's so hard to believe that she'll have been gone 3 yrs June 19th. I've been doing so well, but those old dark clouds are swirling once again. And now I've found out a good friend's sister has pancreatic cancer. Life just seems so unfair sometimes. I know so many people with mothers or grandmothers in their 90's. People my age or older, with both parents alive and kicking... sorry to be depressing.. just feeling really down because life is so damn unfair...

Lisa13Q's picture
Lisa13Q
Posts: 683
Joined: Jul 2009

Hi Cindy,

I come across so many things that my Mom had given me,,,,,as times goes on, I realize how much she loved me....it will be one year for me on the 27th,,,,and I can relate to those feelings about others getting to live to 90.....it i so unfair that my mother didn't get to make it...she wanted to so badly...those dark clouds are definitely swirling...do they ever go away?so sad...I'm sorry you're feeling this way a well....A friend of mine died Friday night from mesothelioma...it makes everything confusing......again....I thought that after a year, things would be better....but idk....i think about her everyday.....i want her to come back....that's it.....simply....sorry if I was depressing, but I saw your post and thought, well, we're together, and thanks for your post....Lisa

Cindy Bear
Posts: 563
Joined: Jul 2009

yep, we are together... and every time I see fang fish I smile.. it's like running into an old friend. I Can't believe your mom will have been gone a year. I don't know if you like to read or not, but two books I recently read that have helped me a bit, "The rules of inheritance" and the latest by Augusten Burroughs "This is How, self help " I love him. He writes a bit on loss and grief and how it's okay to not be happy all the time. Or in his own words, "Wipe that smile off your f*ckin face" I think you would enjoy. I know finding time to read can be a luxury.
Big hugs,
Cindy

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network