I have some really mixed feelings...

Disability
Hey Linda, I've been on disability since October. I get bored sometimes but now that I've had a recurrence and I'm back in the big battle I'm so glad that I don't work right now. Honestly I don't think I could. I'm so thankful that I'm able to stay home and get some rest.

I hope your doing ok. I need to call you b/c we have a lot of catching up to do.

Hugs & God bless,

Dawne

Texasgirl10 said:

Disability
Hey Linda, I've been on disability since October. I get bored sometimes but now that I've had a recurrence and I'm back in the big battle I'm so glad that I don't work right now. Honestly I don't think I could. I'm so thankful that I'm able to stay home and get some rest.

I hope your doing ok. I need to call you b/c we have a lot of catching up to do.

Hugs & God bless,

Dawne

Linda it is a very right decision for you
Linda,
Of course you are having mixed feelings! especially if you like what you do and you are very good at it. some time we need to take care of ourselves, help body to fight, read a book or watch a movie.
I was on disability for than a year. It has been nice to go back, however I do not have time for myself. My lymphedema has been progressing, because I do not have time for it, and many other things. I cannot imagine working, while undergoing treatment.
Your family is very important.. I am so glad that you will spend the whole summer with your husband and children.
Hugs
New Flower

laughs_a_lot said:

You paid
into the system for just such an event that you might become temporarily or permanantly incapacatated. So do not feel guilty. I feel guilty for having to work so much and not having time for my family. I have become less of a workaholic since bc. I used to work 2 jobs. Now I work only one.

Don't......
Feel guilty! This will give you quality time with your kids and husband, especially with school being out very shortly.....I, personally, don't know how you've worked this long, along with taking care of your kids and all that goes with that! So don't feel guilty! You deserve this time off...you've earned it! Plus it will give you time to recoup and rest....no rushing around....

Wishing you a wonderful summer with your family....
Big hugs and no guilt!
Nancy

sorry you are torn...But
sorry you are torn...But sometimes we just have No choice as you/ we all know...

I'll be thinking of you..

Denise

MsGebby said:

You need to get
some much needed rest. The good thing is you won't have to worry (much) about finances. I am glad that you will have time to plan some adventures with the family.

Enjoy! Somehow, I know you will get used to it.

Take it easy sister ....

Mary

I'm sure its hard to come to
I'm sure its hard to come to that decision but now you can spend more time with your family and give your mind and body the rest it needs

Take Care and God Bless
Eva

Linda... I took time off
Linda... I took time off from work when I was undergoing treatment.

It was the right decision for you. Taking time off from work to recover and to spend valuable time with family is absolutely important. Kudos to you for listening to your body and making a decision to leave work for now so as to concentrate on you and your family.

Looking forward to your posts. Hugs.

SIROD said:

Dear Linda,

It is hard to get out of a groove that we are so use to being in, "going to work". Giving yourself, especially your body a much needed rest is probably the kindest thing you can do for it at the moment.

I am wishing you a summer full of relaxation, napping and all those wonderful way of leisured pleasure we dream about when the alarm clock rings waking us up for another day at the daily grind.

You have been through a lot in the past few years, time for a body rest, if not a chemo one.

I believe there is a quote that goes like this: "No one on his/her deathbed ever said, I wish I had spent more time at the office."

Give yourself permission to enjoy this time with your husband, children, relatives and friends,

Best,

Doris

Your job is your health and family
for the time being. I'm so sorry you're torn, and know this must have been a tough decision. You took this job on at a time of uncertainty and gave it your all. Be proud that you did this. I'm sure you made a difference as well as an impression with the organization. I don't think cancer "won". I hope you can appreciate the gift of quality time with your family, even though you received it in an ugly package. Regain your strength and cherish all that's important to you.

Hugs,
Suzanne

I can relate...
I kind of know how you feel, I just applied for disability last week. I had applied last year when recovering from Anal Cancer and was denied, (they said when I did some checking they did not receive all the medical info by said date). At that time I decided to just let it go but I kept having issues and never did make it back to work. My oldest daughter and her husband are in the military and get some nice benefits so rather than saving for themselves have been helping my husband and myself with expenses. After being diagnosed with Breast Cancer and having surgery, I applied again. I am still waiting to hear, but hope things are done more efficiently this time. I truely would love to be working, I have always loved my jobs and the social interaction fullfilled me but the lasting side effects from the Anal Cancer make most jobs impossible for me. I know there are some partial disability programs where you can make a minimal amount of income and still collect, I am checking into this because I think down the road I may be able to work a few hours here and there doing something?????...not sure what, but will see whats out there. My daughter never once has made me feel they minded helping, but they have worked hard, served in two wars, and deserve to save for their own future...let me add I am soooo honored to be called her mother and his mother-in-law!!! Anyhow,it is a tough decision, stay home and let your body do what it NEEDS to do, or push it and maybe end up getting sicker sooner but feel maybe more useful (don't know if thats really the right word but????) Well, best of luck to you, your family will be blessed to have more time with you at home. As always,all in my prayers.

Mitzi333 said:

GREAT Decision!!!
It's time to take care of YOU.... regardless if you like your job, it takes a lot of energy to work and interact everyday and pretend that everything is OK. Good for you to decide to place yourself on "priority status". You need it!!! I, took the time off... about 10 months and it was GREAT to just relax, go to yoga, take walks, reads and just take it ez when needed. Enjoy the time... You deserve it!!! When the time is right you'll go back to work. But, the time it NOW for YOU!!!

ENJOY!!!

Hugs
Mitzi

Hey Linda~
Those decisions must be tough~ and hearing how your kids responded, just reminds me that others see things in us, that we don't see in ourselves. Like maybe we need some rest, or that like you said it would be a great opportunity to spend time with your family. Fighting the beast and working at the same time is exhausting! Keep in mind that sons (men in general) like to be able to "fix things" and the fact that they can't make the cancer go away is something they could wrestle with. Boys are very protective of their mama's too. All just food for thought, your pink sisters are here for you~
~M

Gabe N Abby Mom said:

I knew I could count on the
I knew I could count on the pinks for much needed support...

@texasgirl, yes we do need to catch up. I'll call soon.

I probably should have said that I took a year off when I was first diagnosed, I did 6 rounds TAC, bilateral, and 44 rounds of rads twice a day. When I did that, it was not hard at all to take the disability. I had just gone through a merger and the new company was very impersonal and only cared about production. That was Aug 2010.

August of 2011 I was hired by a small local company that is amazingly compassionate. I was still in new hire training, on my third day, when I got the call from my doc that the cancer was back. At every step of the way, this companies' response has been that I am more important...even in those first few days.

I am so blessed, even though I haven't been with the company long enough to qualify for FMLA they are holding my position and continuing to pay benefits. Pretty amazing when you consider I have only been there for 9 months.

So I have now done both...worked through treatments and taken the time off. It is harder to take the time off this time because the company has been so incredible and because I have been there a much shorter period of time.

Regardless, I will bask in this particular blessing of time with my family.

Hugs and feeling blessed,

Linda

Linda
For you to make this decision, it must be right for you. It was really hard for me at first, and sometimes when I am feeling okay, then I wish I had the structure and the social interaction that I had working. But truthfully as hard as that decision was, I knew it was right. At first the doctor wrote me out permanently and I asked him to change it to 3 months, then as we came closer to 3 months, I started having dreams (or nightmares) about going back to work, not being able to do my job and getting fired. At that point, I knew that with weekly chemo, there was no way!

I am sure your kids are thrilled to have you home more with them, and not be so worn out that you can really enjoy the time spent with them. You work for a great company! I worked for the phone company, where I had a good job, good pay, great benefits, some fantastic co workers, but was a number.

You are blessed, and your children will be blessed to spend this whole summer with you!

Carol