I am feeling so much dread right now. I wish tomorrow would just go away.
My beloved Mother passed away on Valentines Day this year and I just miss her so.
My daughter is expecting me to come over for a BBQ dinner to celebrate Mother's Day. I really do not want to go. I told her why it was hard for me, she feels that it would be better for me to take my mind off my Mom. NOT POSSIBLE!!! She said " don't you want to be with me and the grandchildren" made me feel like I have to be there. I thought I could go for a little bit, just our small family. But now I found out that she has her inlaws and husbands siblings and their families coming also. Usually I have no problem with this, both families are always involved with each other. But I am just not wanting to deal with so many others right now. I feel trapped into going.
So yesterday I told her I might not go, but my Husband said firmly that we will be there!
I just feel like no one understands what I am feeling. All my daughters and now my husband seem to think I have had enough time to grieve. One daughter told me it's time to get on with my life.
It's hard to feel so alone right now. I thought I was feeling a little less sad, but this is rocking my world all over again.
I know I am a mom and my daughter is a mom, but I have always spent time with my mom on Mother's Day. It's just so hard.
I hate to pretend that all is well, I don't even think that I do a passable job pretending.
The tears keep flowing and I feel so lost.