May 03, 2012 - 10:19 am
And every test I go to has come back clean. I had type II Hodgkin's Lymphoma and after 6 months of chemo, 1 month of radiation and 1 surgery, everything was gone except scar tissue. Except every day I think about having cancer again. I feel like every day I wake up I am going to feel another lump, or start to feel tired.
See that was the first sign. I started to sleep a lot. Too much my wife said. I had never slept like that since she had known me. At first I told her it was because I was getting older. After all I was 28.
Now I pretty much can't sleep a whole night. Every time I lay down, I fear that it is because I might be sick again and that is making me tired. I am not sure what to do, so I have come here.
What do you guys do to help with this feeling? I have been cancer free for three years. July 09 was my last Radiation treatment. I go to the doctor every 6 months. I get PET scans and CAT scans once a year. I get x-rays all the time. But every time I am sitting in the Dr's office I can't help but think he is going to find something again.
I now have a new born, she is 5 months old and while I did not have testicular cancer, we were worried that I might not be able to have kids because of chemo. But sometimes when I am with her, I start to cry because I picture missing all of her big moments in life.
So that is why I have come here. I need to know how to move on. How do I put this behind me and stop being so emotional about it. I am a 32 year old man who is on the verge of crying almost every day.