After I swallowed and digested my diagnosis, then decided to shave my head as a preemptive strike, had the port placed and took my first treatment I was doing so well. Emotionally. But this week I am falling apart. My next chemo is Friday and I am hoping I am no sicker than I was the first time. It was bad, but only lasted a few days. So now that I know what to expect why am I crumbling??
For one thing this fatigue would drop an ox and I have right upper quadrant pain that I have reported, and every time I do I am given some song and dance about my colon dropping???? I don't see my onc till May 1st, and when I asked if I could see him sooner, because this pain is really concerning me, she said, it could be adhesions and he does not see his patients until after the second treatment for a full physical and be able to give all test results. Plus even tho I did shave my head, I am losing it in patches and for some reason that has got me so upset!!! And I was FINE! fighting, I was going to be ok Lets do this type attitude, and now I feel deflated. Some of you seem so strong, do you have these private moments as well? Thanks for listening :(