CSN Login
Members Online: 9

I need uplifting or something

sangora
Posts: 218
Joined: Mar 2011

The last couple of weeks have been tough with the pneumonia and being in the hospital. I never do well in the hospital. Anyway, for the past three days I have been in a great deal of pain. Taking the pain meds hasn't done much and the doc has been working with some other options. I think the pain may be better today.The point of this rambling is that my frame of mind is not good. My normally positive attitude is on vacation and I am really on a bummer. Anyway since I don't have a care giver to abuse and fuss with, I need for this group to send me some positive karma. I have been invited to go to church Easter with friends and though I feel awful, I am determined to go. Easter has always been important to me and since this could be my last one, I need to go. Pray for enough energy to get there. Sam Stage IV

birdiequeen's picture
birdiequeen
Posts: 329
Joined: Mar 2011

Hang in there Sam the new season will help in lifting sprits. I do hope you can make Easter service! We are here for you.

Hugs
Lee Ann

Bobs1wife's picture
Bobs1wife
Posts: 153
Joined: Sep 2010

Sam, this is a very personal message straight to you. Go, as fast as you can to church on Easter. Take note of the pretty attire, the lilies, and then open your heart and mind to hear the words of the Easter service, the reserection is for you Sam, and for all of us. You are graciously offered a "free gift" from God of eternal life through His son, Jesus. The choice to accept it is ours alone, one, on one. "The Plan" for our life if a simple one. Repent of our sins, accept Jesus as our Saviour, and receive God's love and eternal life. All our life through, whatever we did, there was still just the one Plan. The glory of the Easter message is there for you. This is my personal opinion, but a strong one. My husband celebrates the reserection in Heaven this year for the first time. It is just 5 weeks since his passing. My grieving here continues, but my PEACE is in knowing he is healed, whole, and happy, with no more pain, or tears. Blessed Easter you you all! Linda

bingbing2009
Posts: 179
Joined: Feb 2011

Sam,

I usually don't respond to very many posts here, but I wanted you to know that I'm sending all the positive energy possible your way. I've kept up with you, and rooted for you behind the scenes. Now it's time to let you know what an inspiration you are. I truly admire your attitude and your spunk and your strength. You have shared so much with so many here. Thank you for everything--this site is much better because of people like you!

Sending you lots of prayers, strength, energy and hugs!

Melinda

stephikindred's picture
stephikindred
Posts: 153
Joined: Mar 2012

I think if you can get that pain under control it will also help your frame of mind. It's hard to be happy when you are hurting. Isn't there something the docs can do to nip this in the bud? I am praying for your pain to ease, your mood be light, and your heart to be filled with light and love. This is a beautiful season. Shine with the sun, Sam!

JimboC's picture
JimboC
Posts: 270
Joined: Mar 2011

Sam,

I hate to see you bummed out. When I was stage III you Stage IVs were my inspiration. I fought like I did out of respect for you. I figured any less and I wasn't honoring you all properly. Now that I am a Stage IVb myself, I see we have a unique battle. I respect you being down and understand that you earned that right. I have beaten up my amazing wife and caregiver to the point of tears and walk away thoroughly ashamed of myself. This is followed by an apology of course. I don't want to know what to do to pick you up other than to pray for you which I gladly do anyway. If talking would help, I'd be glad to talk to you. I'm pretty new at the stage ivb thing but I've taken a lot of wisdom from your posts and would be happy to talk. Just PM me your phone number and best time to call. I'll be saying a little prayer for you have this and throughout. Get to church for Easter Sunday and take care of yourself.

JimboC

JReed's picture
JReed
Posts: 463
Joined: Nov 2011

Sam:

I totally get your frame of mind - you just get sick of being sick. The weather has cooled off here in Michigan, but the sun is shining and that helps with the spirit and mind. Don likes to be outdoors and has a little bit but he gets cold pretty easily - he is still healing from the surgery.

Don has been in the dumps a bit too lately, which is understandable as it is in your case also - but last night I picked up the phone and called Paul Adams and he talked with Don and by the time they finished their conversation, I could see that Don had a much better frame of mind. Just talking with someone who is going through the same stuff as you are really helps.

Easter is probably the best religous holiday there is. It seems to bring everything to a full circle and gives you time to reflect on the total awesomeness of our God. To try to imagine Jesus actually walking among us - powerful stuff to meditate on for sure.

I'm hoping that we can find our favorite Easter movies on television this weekend. It will be a very low key Easter for us and we're fine with that. Wish you were here to chill out with us - I am going to make some deviled eggs and put a little horseradish in them - I know Don can eat that for sure and maybe some ham salad.

Sending you some positive mojo and some of our sunshine.

Happy Easter Sam,
Hugs,
Judy & Don

Donna70's picture
Donna70
Posts: 920
Joined: Aug 2009

Hi Sam,
You have had a rough time, the hospital is never fun and usually the reason we are there never helps either. So listen to all of us with our positive energy telling you to get out there to Easter services. And as someone said if they can get your pain under control that would help your frame of mind. It is hard to be positive if you are under pain, how would you get comfortable and even rest to heal faster. Maybe you need Fentanyl patches, something to get rid of the persisting pain. My prayers and thoughts are with you, many hugs from Maryland.
Donna70

MGiorgi
Posts: 1
Joined: Apr 2012

Sam, I was diagnosed with esophagueal and gastric cancer stage IV on March 2011.
After chimo, radiation and 3 awful surgeries I am cancer free since January.
I spent several months at the hospital. I suffered a lot. I was always thinking about my son.
He is 3 years old.
Now I am recovering. I am working part-time. I enjoy every day. I don't think about the future.
I just want to be happy today.
It is okay to be down sometimes. This shall pass. There is always hope.

Ucsf_smile's picture
Ucsf_smile
Posts: 81
Joined: Sep 2011

Sam,
Hang in there, you have been so brave and courageous. Were they able to get you some new pain meds? Sending a hug your way!

Cindy Bear
Posts: 560
Joined: Jul 2009

Hoping the Dr. is able to make you comfortable and find something to alleviate your pain. Hang in there. I so hope and pray that you are able to be with your friends on Easter, and have a beautiful, blessed day. I wish I had some uplifting words for you but I don't. Just want to send big cyber hugs your way.
Cindy

paul61's picture
paul61
Posts: 1105
Joined: Apr 2010

Sam,

Struggling with pain makes it hard to keep a positive perspective, and you certainly have been through a difficult time over the last few weeks. I hope your doctors can find a way to manage your pain more effectively. Sometimes you have to keep bugging them until they understand that you need something different. I hope you can make it to Easter Services, I know when I was recovering from surgery and going through chemotherapy, I would get up on some Sunday mornings and feel I just couldn't make it to church that day, but I found that if I moved slowly I could get there and once I got there and the service started I would invariably feel better.

I hope you feel better over the next few days.

Best Regards,

Paul Adams
McCormick, South Carolina

DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0 Stage IIB
12/03/2009 Ivor Lewis
2/8 through 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
Two year survivor

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!

JaneO's picture
JaneO
Posts: 42
Joined: Dec 2011

You are not alone! There isn't anyone here that hasn't gone through the depression you are feeling. Easter is the perfect holiday. It gives us all hope. Take advantage of it, make yourself go. It may be just what you need to help you through this rough time. I have found this Easter means so much more than past ones. Jack was diagnosed in July Stage 4. We have to live each day to its fullest. I think you will enjoy going to church and experiencing it, especially if was always important to you in the past.
Jane

cher76's picture
cher76
Posts: 302
Joined: Nov 2010

Sam, please know that we are all praying for you! I have often marveled at how you have managed all this on your own. So anytime you need to rant at someone or something, know that we are here to listen and support you. As the others have said, uncontroled pain has a way of eating away positive thoughts and allows depression to creep in. It's hard to focus on being positive when all your energy is being used to deal with the pain. Please talk to your options for it. May you have a blessed Easter, and may the Lord grant you peace and strength in the days ahead!
Cheryl
Wife of Rickie, dx stage IV, Oct. 2010
Mets to brain and bones
Lost the battle Jan, 4,2012

Ginny_B's picture
Ginny_B
Posts: 537
Joined: Sep 2011

Oh Sam, I'm so sorry you feel so bad. I do hope your pain can be controlled. Maybe it's time for you to get some help so that more effective pain meds can be administered. Do go to Easter services. Easter is what life and death is all about! Go... He prepares your way. I will keep you in my prayers on Easter Sunday.
Ginny

AngieD's picture
AngieD
Posts: 504
Joined: Sep 2011

Sam, I'm definitely sending positive energy your way! You are in my thoughts and prayers each day and have been such an inspiration to me. As the others have said, I do hope the pain gets quickly controlled as that can certainly zap your energy and your attitude. And I especially hope you do go and enjoy the Easter services with your friends. Larry and I have found that making the effort to get out and about makes a world of difference in our physical and emotional sense of well-being. And Easter is so special. Hoping for a great day for you tomorrow and a good week to follow.

Angie DX BC 1/12
Wife of Larry DX Stage IV EC 6/11

TerryV's picture
TerryV
Posts: 915
Joined: Jul 2011

Sam,

I'm here to chime in. It looks like you've already got many "lifting you up" but one more set of hands lightens the worry load, right?

I love the comments on Easter shared here. It truly IS about renewal, faith, and glory. Go to church with your friends and get some of that glory sprinkled on you. Renew your faith and perhaps in doing so, you will find your spirit renewed as well.

Prayers for better days are coming your way! Hope tomorrow is good for you!

Big {HUGS},

Terry

ndmp's picture
ndmp
Posts: 38
Joined: Jan 2009

Sam,

So many thoughts and prayers are coming your way!!! You have an amazing goal and I know you will be at church Easter morning. This is such a powerful time, Easter is full of MIRACLES, remember "ask and you shall receive"
Terry is right let that Easter Glory rain down on you with renewed faith. Draw from His Glory your strength. Happy Blessed Easter to you
Nicole

sangora
Posts: 218
Joined: Mar 2011

You all are so suppotive and I am thankful for all of you. I did get to Church on Easter. It was wonderful and ment so much for me to be there. Friday, my doctor increased the doseage of my pain med and so far it has WORKED. I have been pain free since friday afternoon.I am scheduled for a treatment on tuesday and as far as I know now it is a go. I am feeling better all round today and thank each of you for your supportive words. Sam Stage IV

paul61's picture
paul61
Posts: 1105
Joined: Apr 2010

Sam,

I am so glad that you made it to church. I was thinking about you yesterday and hoping that you would be able to get there. Glad to hear the pain medication is working. Hang in there!!!

Best Regards,

Paul Adams
McCormick, South Carolina

DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0 Stage IIB
12/03/2009 Ivor Lewis
2/8 through 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
Two year survivor

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!

wifeofdan
Posts: 7
Joined: Feb 2012

Sam, thanks for the update with this good news. My husband has StageIV and sometimes I come to this site just to look for your posts! Without knowing it, you have been a inspiration for me and have given me hope to keep up the fight! This is a lousy hand that everyone on this site has been dealt, but we can try to make the best we can of it. We have been planning trips to give us something to look forward to. We went on a tall sailboat trip end of Feb, going to New Mexico/Sedona/Las Vegas the end of this month, and have booked Italy for Sept. Some may think we are crazy, but we are trying to live life to it's fullest while Dan's quality of life is still good. He is having some bad reactions lately to radiation he had to his back, but other than than he is doing pretty well...still working full time and went golfing Sunday morning. We are also talking to his Dr about some new trials, as I feel that is our only real hope. I know there have been so many trials and so far none have really worked long term, but there is always the hope that the next one will. The trick is to keep on going and hopefully one day one of these trial drugs will work and be available to help everyone.
Sue

sandy1943's picture
sandy1943
Posts: 883
Joined: Jun 2010

So glad you made it to church! When I was in treatment, if I could just get ready ,I knew I would feel better when I got there. There were a couple of times the chemo had my counts down and I couldn't go, and I really felt lost. Praying your treatment will go well tomorrow.
Sandra

NikiMo's picture
NikiMo
Posts: 344
Joined: Jul 2011

Sam,

So glad to hear that you made it to church yesterday, and that you were able to do that pain free. You are such an inspiration to the members of this board. Keep on my friend!

Niki

TerryV's picture
TerryV
Posts: 915
Joined: Jul 2011

I am so pleased that you went AND that it was good for you. Sometimes we need that extra something shared when among others sharing their faith.

Prayers and good thoughts go with you tomorrow. {hugs}

Terry

Ginny_B's picture
Ginny_B
Posts: 537
Joined: Sep 2011

When you feel the pain meds are not 100% effective call doc immediately for increased dosage or strength. Don't suffer. Glad you enjoy going to church! God enjoyed you too!

monica_sss
Posts: 57
Joined: Dec 2011

I'm a fan of yours as well. I'm glad that you are feeling better since your original message. If you were local I'd lend a caregiving hand :) Keep on keepin' on.

megmacmd
Posts: 94
Joined: Jun 2011

I too have no caregiver and sometimes (actually) alot of time I have to feel sorry for myself Although I do try to keep a positive attitude it does get lonely and old.I dont complain to my friends dont want to alienate them. My adult children dont want to hear it they say to get my big girl panties on.You are more than welcome to rant to me Ill be glad to listen I will send you my phone number via private message if I can figure out how. You can call anytime I have chronic insomnia although serequel is helping but makes me drowsy so cant take it when I have to work the next morning.You have been a trooper as far as I have read and derserve to have your down days. I have those days when people invite me places but just cant get up for it. Especially when it involves couples I have known for years and then go home alone to my dog(thank god for CC)Hang in thereyou need some TLC maybe a break from the day to day struggle. Anyone you can visit for a bit?I enjoy your post makes me not feel soo alone in thisIm following you by about a year I think.APt next week been off chemo 4 months and do not relish the idea of restarting but Ill cross that bridge when I come to it still mulling it over.You are in my thoughts and prayers keep on posting Ill be listening Meg Mac stage IV

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network