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coming up on what should be our 16th anniversary

magadee
Posts: 12
Joined: Nov 2011

Well survived Valentines day , even broke down and got a new computer. Boy have I missed this site and all the wonderful support. March 11 was four monthes without my Butch, March 27 is the 16th anniversary of him proposing to me. H0ow can 4 monthes seem so much longer than 16 years. Beautiful sunny day 72 degrees on St. Patricks day. I'm in Nortwestern Pa. We get blizzards for st Patricks Day. The closer it gets the more I cry. Cried so hard on the way home from work I had to pull over.When the house is empty I say his name just to hear his name , I have pages of his name I've written. So am I nuts or am I finding ways to cope. I also clean his tackle box , won't let anyone take his coat hat or trap shooting equip from my car . I know he won't be using any of those but what does it hurt. I love Butch I want his memory with me always I think I celebrate him more than mourn him and I laugh more when I think of him . So please on March 27 toast Butch , Maggie and Rasputin.Thanks for listening anyone else wondering if others think their nuts. What are some ways you guys remeber your loved ones?

Noellesmom
Posts: 1315
Joined: Aug 2010

I took her change purse as my own and use it daily. Everytime I open my purse, there it is. I saw it in her hands so many times. Inside she kept a small cross which I left in its place.
I was fortunate that she left a voice mail on my work phone about two months before she passed away. When the missing her gets to be too much, I listen to it, sometimes several times that day. It was my habit to call and check on her every morning just to make sure she was okay. On the morning she left the message, she had not answered when I called so I left a message. She called my phone and said, "Angie, it's Mama. I'm okay." That's all she said but it was wonderful to hear it after she passed.
We all have our own ways of coping. You do what you have to do, Maggie.

Hugs.

Minaha
Posts: 8
Joined: Mar 2012

I only lost my father two weeks ago after 10 months of cancer. The final two months were the worst as he was in hospital and then a nursing home so was no longer in the home and I guess it feels he's been gone longer.

There are so many ways I remember Dad. I constantly talk to him, out loud a lot. I have his aftershave and smell it every day. I bought him a fleece jacket for xmas which I never imagined he'd get to wear but when he was admitted to hospital 3 days after xmas he refused to take it off him most days. I have that jacket now and sometimes put it on late at night when I can't sleep and smell him from it.

My biggest fear is that I'll forget him.

I'll be thinking of you on March 27th.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1624
Joined: Aug 2009

Remembering isn't a problem. I suspect, like me, everything reminds you of him. We were married for 42 years, and it has been about two and a half since I lost him. At first all those memories brought tears. Now I cherish the memories. I live in a small community and often eat, visit, see the places where we shared a thought, smile, or a good Mexican dinner. I rarely go to the cemetery because my faith tells me he is not there. Certain hymns in church really bring warm memories. Each of us finds our own way. One thing I did do was find a site online that sold "memory dogs" and gave each of my granddaughters a stuffed dog made from one of my husband's shirts. There are also memory pillows, bears, etc. I don't sew, but if you do they would be easy to make. Take care. I'll be thinking of you on March 27. Fay

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