dealing with diagnosis

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schimmy2
schimmy2 Member Posts: 1
in Ovarian Cancer #1
My mom was recently diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer and was not given a good prognosis. She is a fighter and 25 yr survivor of breast cancer. She decided to fight this and has started chemo. She is having numerous problems both cancer related and not. Most recently was diagnosed with a mrsa infection. I am a huge supporter and have several family and friends with cancers and have watched them go through many challenges and stages. I am having a very hard time emotionally because it is my mom. I can't fix this. I can't take her pain or suffering away and she has always been there for me and my siblings. She is so scared. She called at 4a not knowing where she was and thinking she was in the ground. I listen to everything she says and just let her talk because I know that is best, but as soon as I hang up I fall apart. I feel like my life is crumbling and I'm not the one battling the cancer. The two hard parts are we are 4.5 hours away from each other and go as often as I can, but I also have my own health issues and we shouldn't always be around each other and I feel like I am wasting precious time with her. I am so scared and want to make her feel safe.....I don't know what to do?

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  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    #2
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    Mom
    sorry to hear you and your mom are going through this...does she live alone. what are they doing to treat the infection,,maybe she should be in the hospital. It is hard to watch her suffer,just keep on doing what you can. and continue to listen...val
  • Pattyn
    Pattyn Member Posts: 47
    #3
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    poopergirl14052 said:

    Mom
    sorry to hear you and your mom are going through this...does she live alone. what are they doing to treat the infection,,maybe she should be in the hospital. It is hard to watch her suffer,just keep on doing what you can. and continue to listen...val

    Hi schimmy
    I will pray for you and your mom. Stay strong, she really needs you.
    :)
    Patty
  • lovesanimals
    lovesanimals Member Posts: 1,366 Member
    #4
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    poopergirl14052 said:

    Mom
    sorry to hear you and your mom are going through this...does she live alone. what are they doing to treat the infection,,maybe she should be in the hospital. It is hard to watch her suffer,just keep on doing what you can. and continue to listen...val

    I'm so sorry
    that you and your mom are having to deal with this. I think you're doing a tremendous amount by being there for her and listening to her when she's scared, nervous or just wants to talk. I know you want to be strong for your mom, so feel free to come to this board to "fall apart". We're here to help and support you in any way we can.

    Please take care,
    Kelly
  • AnneBehymer
    AnneBehymer Member Posts: 738 Member
    #5
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    Hi Schimmy
    First of all I believe that you are fighting cancer but just in a different way. You may not have the disease but being a caregiver to someone with cancer you are walking through this with them. You see the pain, you feel the pain, you feel the angish (sorry about spelling bad chemo brain today) that your mom is going threw, and you are walking this with her to help her fight the battle she is going to face. It is hard to watch someone you love change and we do change, the toll our bodies take while on chemo is a hard one. I see in my mothers eyes when she does not think I am watching the pain she is going through. Please find support for yourself also it will help you reach out to your mother better and it will give you the support you need while helpping her. I know I could not walk through this by myself if it was not for my mother I would not be here and I know that for a fact. I have stage four ovarian cancer and just found on June of last year. I am also looking at the fact that I may be out of remission and my mom has been the one thing that holds me up, but I know she has atleast two friends she talks with when things get rough for her and I am glad for that because sometimes I fell horible and think I am pushing my mom over the edge she looks so tired some day so having these people to lean on has been a great help to her. I am so sorry you and your mom are going through this and you both will be added to my list of teal sisters and the angels that take care of them list. I hope you find the support and help you need her these ladies have been a life line for me and I know they will be for you also, these ladies a very wise women and will be there in anyway you need them. welcome to the club no one wants to be a part of.


    Love, Hugs, and Prays
    Anne
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338
    #6
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    Dear Schimmy
    How lucky your Mom is to have such a caring and devoted daughter. You sound like a family of fighters. Coming to grips with a new diagnosis is terrifying and overwhelming for the whole family. For many of us obtaining a cure is out of the question, but lots of us are thriving for years with the help of chemo and the loving support of our families. It sounds like your Mom has several issues to deal with and hopefully will start feeling better as each one is addressed. We're here for you.
    (((HUGS))) Maria
    6 years since diagnosis

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