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slg
Posts: 200
Joined: Jan 2010

After two plus years since my husband's diagnosis he passed away under the care of Hospice on January 14th. It was such a horrible experience. I don't think I will ever get over it. I miss him and am lost without him. We would have been married 40 years this April. I miss talking to him and waking up in the middle of the night and reaching over to touch him.
February 7, 2012 - 7:38am
I know it's the right thing to do but I am having anxiety over selling my husband's car this week. It's financially the right thing to do. He hadn't driven since June and I don't even like the car. I have been paying car insurance since then too so it doesn't make sense to keep it in the driveway.
That is the only thing that I was planning on getting rid of at the moment. I don't want to empty out the closets or his dresser yet either.
I thought the hardest was taking care of him, watching him deteriorate or watch him die but this is right up there!!!

eibod
Posts: 160
Joined: Mar 2011

It is hard to make business decisions when your heart is in your throat. Maybe you should ask yourself if selling his car in this situation, would have been what he would want you
to do. Than you would be feeling like you were carrying out his wishes.
My husband died Jan 23. Last weekend I tried giving the kids a few memorable items of his,
I felt so bad afterwards that I decided to leave everything as it is for now. I did manage
to take his supply of colostomy items to the free clinic to see if they could use them.
I guess that will be all I can do right now. After 43 years together, life is just too
different right now. I just want to stay at home and sleep. When I am asleep, I forget
reality.

sue5749
Posts: 170
Joined: Dec 2010

I was Jan 23 that my died also. Been a hard sad lonely scary month! Right now I have to get our income tax papers together, that was my husband job. He liked that sort of thing. Now that he has gone, I feel lost! I was going through some papers this morning, I found something that he wrote down on a piece of paper. " I am suffering Please pray for me to die" I just broke down! I seem to cry everyday but this morning I just about broke down!!!

slg
Posts: 200
Joined: Jan 2010

I do know how you feel. I do cry off and on. It's silly things that get to me. I have not found anything like what you did but did just come across a list he had made quite some time ago. I felt like I needed to keep it because he wrote it. I have been working on our taxes which I have been doing for years. The thought just crossed my mind the other day that had it been the other way around he would have been lost and not known what to do. So I do know what you are feeling. We newly widowed need to keep together and support each other. Hang in there.

Sue (slg72@aol.com)

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