Husband is just mad

mef123
mef123 Member Posts: 45
in Colorectal Cancer #1
Is that a part of it. He's mad at the world. Mad that he's tired all the time and weak (he's doing chemo and radiation right now, plus on some heavy duty antibiotics). Mad that it is holiday season and he loves the holiday's but he's not getting excited and doesn't know if he'll enjoy Christmas this year. Were any of you like this? How can I help him, or can I?

Michele

Comments

  • eringray
    eringray Member Posts: 19
    #2
    when i started chemo i
    when i started chemo i didn't know how mentally taxing it would be. its hard to get excited about anything when you know that you will feel like sh!t the whole time. my only advice is just to be understanding and patient. when hes grumpy just give him a hug and a kiss and let him know you love him and are here for him if he needs to talk.

    it was extremely hard for me going through treatment and feeling alone. my husband didn't want to talk about cancer/treatment/death because im sure his life was highjacked by cancer 24/7. if i had a caregiver that was more open to listening to my crazy non stop thinking i would have felt more connected and loved. my husband is a great man and i know cancer is overwhelming so i dont blame him. anyway i hope my rambling made sense and was helpful. i will be praying for you and your family. i hope your husband will find some relief soon.
  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    #3
    Dear Michele
    The toll cancer and the procedures take on us emotionally is tremedous, and care givers such as yourself often see and/or bare the brunt of it. Life seems out of control. We are not given many if any choices.

    He may not be physically up to doing all the things he usually does in connection with gettting ready for the holidays, but remind him that there is joy to be had. See if you can't get him into some light jobs connected with the holidays, even if he hasn't done them before...like wrapping gifts, sitting on a chair and hanging decorations on the tree within his reach, etc.

    Men often have a more difficult time with the emotional aspects of not being able to do all the physical things they have done in the past. Just work at reminding him that whatever his contribution this year, it will still be a blessed Christmas because you are together.

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties
  • here4lfe
    here4lfe Member Posts: 306 Member
    #4
    Tough times
    My wife's PA put her on Zoloft to help with her moods. She is not a sad person, so for her to be put on a med for depression to us is a big deal. Talk with your husbands oncologist to see if he needs something to help out. Also, take care of yourself.

    Best
  • th_in_canada
    th_in_canada Member Posts: 46
    #5
    here4lfe said:

    Tough times
    My wife's PA put her on Zoloft to help with her moods. She is not a sad person, so for her to be put on a med for depression to us is a big deal. Talk with your husbands oncologist to see if he needs something to help out. Also, take care of yourself.

    Best

    depression
    I was also put on an anti-depressant a few months ago, something I never, ever thought I would take. It was also a big deal for me and I felt like a weakling for needing them. Now, I feel like I'm back to being me.
  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
    #6
    My husband was put ob
    My husband was put ob Celebrex for his depression during this. He didn't want to do it because I think he thought he wasn't the "kind" of person who took depression meds but they have made a world of difference. Lisa
  • mef123
    mef123 Member Posts: 45
    #7
    buckeye2 said:

    My husband was put ob
    My husband was put ob Celebrex for his depression during this. He didn't want to do it because I think he thought he wasn't the "kind" of person who took depression meds but they have made a world of difference. Lisa

    Antidepressants
    I know how hard it is to be on antidepressants and meds like that, I'm bipolar and am on a lot but they work so that's all that matters.

    As for my husband, that is something we should look into. I know he also doesn't think he is the type of person who would ever need them but it might just help.

    Thanks

    Michele

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