I posted a couple months ago, I am the daughter of a mother with stage IV. The disease had spread from her lungs to her brain. She was diagnosed in May and now six months later we've gotten many good results. After finding out that the tumors in her lungs were almost completely gone and the large tumor in her brain had shrunk significantly to nothing(after whole brain radiation), she began having severe side effects to the chemo (she was taking alimta). The last chemo she had, around 5 weeks ago, she was almost sure she was going to die from it. After being in the hospital for a week, we decided to stop chemo because her quality of life was pretty much non-existent.
With all of this good news, her mental state worsened instead of being happy or thankful that she's made it this far. I want people out there to know that miracles do happen!! And I believe my mother is a cancer survivor, no matter how much time she has left. Yet, with such an advanced stage the possibilities of the cancer coming back...well it's there...
I am wondering if there is anyone out there that has been through having a loved one pass from this disease and could give me any information on the last few days/months. My mother has seemed to have given up. Her mind is gone, she is very depressed and tells me everyday that she thinks it's the day she is going to die. I try to comfort her and tell her that everyone dies and she doesn't know when it's her time, but I feel if she thinks she is, then she will let her body give up too. I have a very close relationship with my mother, she is also my best friend...so during all of this, especially the last couple months, I am consumed with grief and fear and I know it plays a part in me not being able to handle some of these things or withdrawing some.
I held her in my arms, in her bed, last night for 2 hours while she cried and kept telling me she was going to die, wanted to hurry up and die, and that she was scared. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. My mother is only 54, and I am 23, I never expected (like most people feel), that this would happen.
I guess my main question is, is this a symptom or sign that she is going to die soon? I have already read the "Nearing the End of Life" section on this site...I just hope i'm not in denial. But then again sometimes I just think it's depression and anxiety that is making her think this way.
I would love to hear anyone's input/advice or just kind words.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read.