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Rollercoaster rides

JackieA
Posts: 150
Joined: Mar 2011

Along this journey, I have become sick of the rollercoaster ride. When I was younger I loved the thrill of the ride. The ups and downs---the suprises that overtake one as they mount each hill. Since my husband has had this second bout of cancer, I am beginning to hate the rides. The waiting and anticipation of each new report. The up one moment and down the next. Like the time we thought my husband was going to pass anyday. We had said our good byes, he told me how tired he was and that he knew he was dying...I had prepared for the journey....only he took a turn for the better---and that is wonderful! But I read somewhere about the roller coaster ride. I know each new day should be filled with hope and expectation, but mine is filled with anxiety and fear of the next going down of the ride.

Has anyone experienced this before? please share.

Barbara53's picture
Barbara53
Posts: 659
Joined: Aug 2009

Jackie, I know exactly what you mean. I've been on the roller coaster with my mother for almost three years. Although I want her to enjoy every day life has to offer her, the ups and downs are really hard to adjust to. One week she can hardly move, the next she want to paint the town.

Now we are nearing the end, and I have no regrets over the time and energy I have given to the cause. At the same time, I do wonder if we humans are built, emotionally, to endure the constant waves of getting better/getting worse, in an age when people don't simply get sick and die anymore. It's just another way we caregiver go above and beyond what is humanly possible sometimes.

Noellesmom
Posts: 1303
Joined: Aug 2010

I absolutely understand. I know this is hard, Jackie.

Hopefully, knowing you are not alone and there are others who understand will help some. It is important to talk about this, even if you don't have someone to whom you can vent in person, use this forum.

Please be gentle with yourself.

Hugs.

ddpekks's picture
ddpekks
Posts: 162
Joined: Sep 2011

Oh, Jackie, isn't this a ride of a life time? This weekend my roller coaster completely fell off the tracks and went boom.

Beautiful sunny day, went for a ride, stopped at a pleasant flea market, got in some good exercise and both of us were having a very enjoyable day. We stop at Publix Deli on the way home to pick up some roastbeef for dinner subs. He did not get a number when he went up and leaned on the counter waiting for clerk to finish with her customer. Lady behind him did get a number. When the clerk called the number and before the lady could say "but he was here first", he exploded. Started swearing, stomping out and muttering threats like a mad man.

I tried to ask him about it on the drive home and he became very defensive, trying to justify his misbehavior by blaming others. And, of course, he was good and mad at me by then. I just took the high road and shut my mouth.

After he rested for a little while, watched some football and I ignored him for the rest of the afternoon, he appologized. Said he didn't understand why he was so pi$$#@ off all the time. I accept that. Under other circumstances I would have made him groval for a week for embarrassing me in public and then speaking to me like he did. But I've had to learn to be quicker to forgive, quicker to understand, and much quicker to ignore the small stuff that he doesn't even bother to appologize for.

Whew....I feel better. See here Jackie. Saying it out loud helps. I feel better every time I get off that roller coaster, stretch my legs and complain a little. Now, it's time to crawl back on! Enjoy the ride and best you can cause we're fixin' to hit another curve (I'm sure).

Smiles for you....
Deb

scamps67's picture
scamps67
Posts: 20
Joined: Oct 2011

I think we are all on the rollercoaster, some have just been on it longer. I have just gotten on and I hope I will build up some endurance! Even though I understand why my husband is mad sometimes and sad others I still get angry that I have to bite my tongue when BC (before cancer) I would have told him to cut it out! lol I am trying sooo hard to be patient and listen over and over again to him go over the same worries, what ifs and what happened befores. I am glad your husband took a turn for the better but it must be very emotionally taxing to have said your goodbyes! wow.

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