Oct 14, 2011 - 2:02 am
Every time I look at my mom, I wonder how much time I have left with her. I wonder how many peaceful evenings watching TV are lined up for us. I wonder if God has a bigger plan for her than I could ever have. I wonder if breast cancer has match point. Will my mom be well enough to celebrate my 21st birthday with me in two weeks? What about the birthday after that? What about HER birthday??
It's been a month and change since my mom was diagnosed with brain mets stemming from breast cancer. Why are all of these these negative thoughts hitting me like a ton of bricks all of a sudden?? Am I a bad daughter for LETTING these thoughts sneak in? What's wrong with me???
I think this whole brain mets thing is finally causing me to burst at the seams. I've been so upbeat and positive throughout this whole ordeal, and finally tonight, I just went up to my room, locked the door, and broke down in tears.
Some great words of advice from my fellow caregivers are greatly appreciated...