UPDATE..6.5 Months Post Chemo, 2 Months Post RADS, and...OMG!

Hello everyone.

I haven't posted for some time. We've been going through too much. More than any one family should have to.

I had a complete physical with my family doctor two weeks ago. She ordered a thorough, comprehensive blood workup test.

My WBC is on the bottom end of normal with my Lymphocyte count at 0.7. My BP is high, my blood sugar is 5.8 and I'm a complete emotional and physical wreck.

Given my BC is Triple Negative, and was Stage 2, Grade 3. The highest rate of recurrence is in the first 2 to 3 years post treatment. Having such low WBC terrifies me.

Both my family doctor and psychiatrist believe without doubt this is all due to the inhumane levels of stress, fear and anxiety in our lives currently, induced by my crazy, irrational, cruel in-laws.

I know intellectually, I cannot control the stressors in life, I can only control how I react to them. However, in this case, what has occurred is shocking to say the least.

We live in a home owned by my MIL and FIL and we have rented from them for the last 7 years.

Back in July (my MIL) and (my FIL) asked to have a "family meeting" with my husband, me and our girls. This meeting was spurred on by the diagnosis of my MIL’s brother, with Stage 4 Cancer of Unknown Primary.

In late June, my MIL’s brother began to pressure her into selling their jointly owned commercial properties beginning with their apartment building in an affluent neighborhood here. This building also happens to be where my MIL and FIL live in the penthouse. This building has been in my MIL’s family for more than 50 years and has always been a "safety net" for the family when someone needed a place to live. It also produces a net income of approximately $50,000 each annually.

She doesn't want to sell, but her brother does. Because he's dying, he wants to put all is financial affairs in order. Fair enough and rightfully so.

So, in July we were told that they, my in-laws "need" to sell the house so they can afford to by a new home/condo for themselves after the sale of the apartment building, of which is being sold for an asking price of $3,900,500.00. They turned down 3 offers before accepting the 4th offer as it came as close to the asking price for them. We’re pretty sure they're getting about $3.5 million at least.

She, my MIL also has very healthy investments, a pension, another commercial property owned jointly with her brother and my FIL has his own wealth as well.

When we pointed all of this out and that what they were telling us didn’t make any sense, we were told that she needed to sell the house so she would have "grocery money" to live on because she would no longer have the income from the apartment building.

The house is worth at least $800,000.00 currently. So, we came to a compromise in July, she and my FIL agreed to allow us to remain in the house until we could move into one of the family oriented co-ops we have been wanting to move into and had applied to, of which the wait lists are anywhere from 1 to 4 years long. Then they took our eldest daughter on a trip to Europe for 3.5 weeks and spent almost $20,000 on the trip. They return home from this trip and, stress, arguments and fights ensue between my MIL and her brother to the point that it all overflows into her relationship with my FIL and then she, in her increasingly diminished psycho/emotional state, coupled with her every increasing drinking, and irrational fears of being destitute, decides they cannot wait for us to get into a co-op and will be selling the house a.s.a.p. because she and John found a condo for $1,000,000.00 they want to put an offer on and don't want to carry a mortgage or bridge financing and because her money is hers and his money is his, he is adamant that he need's his 50% out of the sale of the house to purchase the condo. Yeah, I know, you're no doubt sitting there saying WTF! Us too. So after the worst, most nasty face-to-face confrontation yet with them (and there’s been a number over the last 11 years), we were given until July 31, 2012 to "get the **** out of the house", but the expectation is that "we make every goddamn effort to get out before then" because my FIL wants to begin renos to make the house "more sellable" to capitalize on his profit.

He warned us that he was going to begin said renos with us still in the house. He wasn't kidding. Roofers showed up last Thursday. So, I spent every waking hour to the detriment of my health, searching online on Craigslist, Kijiji, PadMapper, newspapers, realtors and property management firms for a decent place to live.

I did this for 9 days before we found a house 6 blocks away that we're moving into on November 15th. The rent however is $2,000.00/mo, $500.00 more than we have been paying. We have to downsize considerably as we’re going from a 2,500sf. 4 bedroom house to a 3 bedroom + den that is less than 2,000sf.

During the course of the confrontation two weeks ago, we were screamed at, threatened, belittled, condemned, criticized, ridiculed, insulted and told we were irresponsible “F-Ups” and that I was using my cancer as an excuse for the state of our life.

Again WTF!!! So, we're moving and we're not telling them about it until we're completely out of this house as to avoid any further confrontation. Once we've moved, I've told my husband I do not want them to know our new address, they are not welcome in our home, and I've severed my relationship with them. This has also had a horrible impact on the kids. My eldest hates them right now. She overheard a lot of conversations and fights between them on her trip with them to Europe and she told me "mommy I know how much money they have, why are they doing this to our family especially with everything we've gone through with your cancer?" She's a smart kid. She knows just how **** up this whole situation is. So, that's our life in a grenade. I can't say nutshell, because our life is never that simple.

We just went through the loss of my husband’s uncle who died suddenly from severe terminal cancer that went undiagnosed. He was in hospital for two weeks when he died on September 19th, and we’re dealing with my husband’s other uncle (my MIL’s brother) who is slowly dying from his cancer.

Both of these tragic cancer situations have played horribly on my mind and emotions as I’ve just come through my own cancer. Witnessing two people of whom we love and care for slowly deteriorate from cancer is terrifying. I’m scared to death of a recurrence. Given that my BC was Triple Negative, Stage 2, Grade 3, if there is to be a recurrence it is most likely to occur in the first two to three years post treatment.

Knowing that all of this stress, emotionally charged circumstances are taking a toll on my health and with my WBC so low, my fears are exacerbated. My in-laws don’t give a ****. All they care about is money at the expense of life itself.

I see my primary oncologist toward the end of November and no doubt will have my WBC checked again.

In the meantime, my husband is working two jobs, is highly stressed with that alone and I must get our house packed up and ready to move while raising and caring for my three daughters. I cannot focus on my health the way I need to until we’ve moved. This too worries my husband, but we're in a position where until we move, we just have to somehow push through.

But, I have in my mind and heart, severed my relationship with my in-laws. I will no longer speak to them, see them, nor do I want to hear about them. I’ve explained to my girls that I want to believe their grandparents love them, despite all of this adult drama and I will not stand in the way of their relationship with their grandparents, nor will I do or say anything to poison them against their grandparents.

Sorry for the long rant. But, I’m so scared about my health and so is my husband. We just want peace in our lives, so that I can recover and be healthy again.

As always, your advice and thoughts are appreciated.