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How to help - suggestions needed :)

teamwink
Posts: 97
Joined: May 2011

My dad was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer and I want to do my best to support him; as I understand it, the cancer is caught relatively early (only 2 of the 13 biopsys contained cancerous cells). I live far away and he swears he does not want me to visit for the surgery, so I need suggestions about perhaps something I can do or send to him. Were there things you found helpful after surgery that I may be able to send him in a care package? I want to make sure he feels loved and special during this time!

Kongo's picture
Kongo
Posts: 1167
Joined: Mar 2010

Team,

Many fathers do not wish to burden their children with the details of their cancer or surgery. I admire your desire to make him feel loved and special during this period. I obviously don't know your father but I if it was me I think a really good bottle of Scotch for when he is through with his surgery and wants to sip on something while he contemplates his future might be good. He will want to get back to normal as soon as he can so anything that harkens to a "normal" activity is something he can look forward to.

Good luck.

mattmans5
Posts: 70
Joined: Jan 2011

Just wondering is your dad scheduled for surgery , has he researched all treatment options available considering he was caught early , maybe that is something you may be able to help him with if it isnt alreadt decided .

Having had surgery , I found that an ipod was useful , it can get help keep the activity in the hospital at bay and helped me to fall asleep .

wishing you the best

joe

gumbyrun's picture
gumbyrun
Posts: 52
Joined: Dec 2009

I had some friends give me some great books - not on PCA but that mightnot be a bad idea. Also, a good bottle is a nice gift.

VascodaGama's picture
VascodaGama
Posts: 1550
Joined: Nov 2010

I got three items very dear to me which I keep in my memorials from surgery.
A card from my son with a picture of the “Star Wars” and the words “Be the Force with You”. A stuffed Teddy Bear, from my wife (to give me company during the nights at the hospital). And a beautiful ceramic flower Jar handmade by a friend artist who visited me at the hospital.

Your dad will appreciate any attitude from you demonstrating that you care.

Wishing him a good treatment.
VGama

mrspjd
Posts: 693
Joined: Apr 2010

The best non-monetary gifts you can give your dad are the love and support of regular phone calls, emails, etc to let him know you are there for him even if you can’t be there in person or if he is adamant that you not be there. Contact a good friend of his who lives close by and ask if they would be willing to ck in on him and to report back to you so that you can “really” know how he is doing.

If you feel you need to send a gift, consider something that will make meal/snack preparation easier for him, such as a fresh fruit basket. If affordable, how about purchasing a week’s worth (or more) of dinners delivered to his door after he returns home from the hospital? There are many health conscious meal delivery services available. Check online for a reputable one with high marks for food freshness and quality. If that’s not an option, perhaps you can contact some of his nearby friends or other relatives to coordinate dates that each will agree to drop off a prepared healthy main dish for him (teamwork for teamwink).

Hope this helps. Good luck to you both.

PawPaw J
Posts: 34
Joined: Jul 2011

teamwink, you have already had many good ideas but I can tell you first hand from being a dad of 2 children in their 20's and being 2 months post op today, ANY kind of contact from you will make him feel loved and special and this is not just words of encouragement to you it is fact! If, though you feel you need to send something of substance, to me anything he can look at in the future and relate you to his surgery will be special to him. Sorry I don't have any suggestions on what he might need but sometimes the "drink" idea seems like a good one! Best to you and your dad.

Johnny

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