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Depression And Getting A Positive Attitude

smneider
Posts: 20
Joined: Aug 2011

Hi everyone. My Mom was diagnosed with Stage IV. Her 1st chemo (Carbo and Altima) was on the August 11th. She had 5 radiation treatments the week before chemo. Her physical side effects from the chemo were slight, thank god, she felt tired for 5 days after chemo. The problem is she is becoming increasing depressed. She refuses to take an anti depressant. She has names of psychologists to call to talk to but hasn't called. My Dad is her primary caregiver but being her daughter I am a primary as well. Can anyone give me some ideas on what I and the family can do to help her. I think that the idea of having cancer has begun to take hold and I really want her to stay positive. Thank you all.

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

Sorry your mother is going through this and even more sorry that she is battling depression also. I would guess that all of us go through a period of depression, either after the original diagnosis or during the beginning of treatment. I was lucky and was able to bring myself out of my depression by thinking of everything I had to be thankful for and all the reasons I had for fighting this fight.

The only suggestion I have is for you and your dad (and any other family members) to sit down with her and have a long heart to heart discussion with her. Let her know how much you love her and want her to fight this disease and that you can understand her feelings of depression. Tell her that treatment can be tough enough but is made even tougher if you are suffering through depression at the same time. Reassure her that taking antidepressants will only help her and is not a sign of weakness. Many people here have taken them and some continue to do so, you have to do whatever it takes to help you through treatment and recovery. Maybe she feels that taking an antidepressant is a sign of weakness???? Tell her to look at an antidepressant as part of her arsenal of drugs used to fight cancer, we have to fight it on all fronts...including emotionally.

Wished I had the "miracle" answer that could make this problem go away for you and your family but all I can say is remind her everyday that you love her and want her to fight and that you will all be there helping her every day.

My best,
Glenna

Hondo's picture
Hondo
Posts: 5837
Joined: Apr 2009

When I get like that sometimes I keep the world out and push it all away and close off everyone. I am not sure why because when I come out of it I am fine. The only advice I can give you is to hold her and tell her how much you love her and how much she is needed in your life; Dad needs to do the same. Assure her that you are there and will continue to be there for her. Then like Glenna said let her know that the meds are only to help her from getting depressed and keeping her focus. My wife just sits there sometime with me and holds me for as long as it takes to bring me back out into the real world, don’t know what I would do with out her.

Wishing you the best
Hondo

banny46
Posts: 3
Joined: Sep 2011

depression is a real at times i pray alot you r all on my pray list

smneider
Posts: 20
Joined: Aug 2011

Thank you all for your suggestions and kind words!

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