I was attending my husbands funeral last Saturday at this time. I like many of you feel lost and broken.
I am bothered so much by the whys? Not because of the illness but our life in general. Is it normal to have feelings of guilt & regret? Mostly things we didn't make time for. Things we should have done.
He was such a great man and deserved so much more than he had. His coworkers honored him with a motorcade to drive the 30 miles or so for the viewing. I had no idea he was so well liked at work until now. It's almost like he lead a double life. He was such a hard worker and a quiet man but to hear them all talk about him I felt like I was married to a totally different person than they knew. I feel like I missed out knowing that person.
We had just had our 36th anniversary and part of me feels like I didn't know him at all. I am doing my best to be strong for all to see but I'm a total wreck when they aren't looking. Everything happened way too fast.
I just feel so lost and broken.