Aug 15, 2011 - 10:01 am
Not my turn to have cancer, but my turn to be the one that everyone is worried about. I'm throwing in the towel and going to see my doctor today about a bucket of symptoms I'm now starting to think are all part of menopause. Hot flashes, I could live with (don't get those anyway) - ditto the hairy chin, the weight gain, and the cold flashes (I'm the only one I know who gets those). However, the anxiety attacks in the middle of the night and a rapidly decreasing ability to deal with stress are getting old. I think I started this all about 3 years ago, but didn't recognize it, as there was always something happening that I had to focus on.
For a while, I thought it was just the increased stress of taking care of someone with cancer, but (for now) that's just a bad memory. And I can't keep blaming it on PTSD. And I can't keep self-medicating - that's just treating the symptoms.
I expect I'll come back and post how frustrated I am, either because my doctor doesn't agree with me that there's a problem, or that he agrees but doesn't think there's much he can do. But I feel like I have to at least try - I'm doing everything non-medical that I can; been eating right and exercising regularly for a good 6 months, and I've been doing my best to use planning and routine to avoid stress. But my mood swings seem mostly to go from mildly anxious to a state of abject terror and not much else - I'm really tired of this.