so scared
I have an appointment with a surgeon on Tuesday, the nurse that gave me my results said surgery could be scheduled later next week! How can anyone make any decisions in that short of time? If you don't know what stage it is until surgery, how can you choose?
How did any of you decide on lumpectomy or a mastectomy? I always thought that if this happened to me that I would just have them both cut off, but I am so scared. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Lori
Comments
-
:-/
Lori I am so sorry you have reason to be here but very glad you found us. I know this is a very scary time but you can do this and we will be here to help you. Choosing between a lumpectomy and a mastectomy is such a personal thing it is difficult to suggest one over the other to you. I have had a lumpectomy on my left side and a mastectomy on my left side. If you choose a double mastectomy you can have reconstruction and it does look pretty normal but does not have the same sensation as your breasts have. You will need to discuss it with your surgeon and your oncologist. I know time is short and it is all coming at you so fast, do what is best for you, do what gives you the greatest odds and the best quality of life you can achieve. I wish all the best, please come back and let us know how you are doing.
RE0 -
so scared
You will be ok, know that first. you will be ok. Take a few deep breaths and know that so many women have been right where you are now.
We are all here for you, one step at a time. Gather all the information that you can. Talk to an Oncologist, as well as the surgeon..You don't always have a choice, between a lumpectomy and a mastectomy..it so much depends on location of the tumor...yours must be close to the nipple? That will reduce your choices...go with a list of questions for the surgeon and be sure to take someone with you and a note pad to take notes. You will have time to make a decision. Once you have been fully informed. Hang on Lori, you are going to be ok. Think positive, be postive, and you will get through this. I understand the word terrified now. I have had chemo, surgery, radiation and am on the mend and working my way back to normal. This will take about 8-10 months depending on your process. But you will make it through this. Let us know how we can help you, and keep asking questions. Remember the Doctors are all working for you, if you don't understand something ask, ask, ask. Best to you, Sinee/Cindy0 -
I was so scared, too...
Dear Lori,
I was really scared when diagnosed, in July 2009. I had Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. My tumor was found on a routine mammogram. The docs decided to do a lumpectomy, and my margins were clear. Because my cancer was a higher grade, the docs recommended both chemo AND radiation (first they told me lumpectomy and radiation only, but due to my cancer being aggressive, chemo came in and I decided to do it all). I had four infusions of chemo drugs-each three weeks apart--in the fall of 2009. I had 35 radiation treatments in the spring of 2010. I kept working the whole time,but that has to be an individual choice. I am A-OK right now, and thank God, no evidence of disease in all my tests at this time.
When I first got the diagnosis, I felt like that was it---everything was over. That is not the case! You may have some treatments ahead, but you can make it! You can fight this disease! Glad you found this site, sorry you had to. But, you will have some of the best support here you could ever find. Ask questions of your MDs, nurses, and care staff. Post on here as often as you want to or feel you need to. We are here for you...
Best wishes, and blessings,
Sybil0 -
I know how scary this time
I know how scary this time can be. It is funny how you mention that you always thought if anything happened you would have them both cut off. I always said that too and I didn't...however, I wish I would have. I was diagnosed last June with DCIS and IDC (4mm). I knew after the biopsy that if it came back as cancer, it was coming off. Originally it came back pure DCIS. The night the doctor called, I said when can I have it off? The next Friday I had a single mastectomy. In that breast, they found the small invasive area. NEVER have I regretted my decision - it was right for ME. The only thing I do regret is not getting them both taken off. I was told not to worry so much about the other one, chance were it would never get cancer and it would be a very drastic step to take. After going in for my mammogram this June and the anxiety I had, I know I am getting the other one taken off too. I have an appointment September with a plastic surgeon. If you truly feel that you would want them both removed, really think about it. My surgeon (I love him) made me feel like I didn't need to do it, I knew I would always have these questions in my mind, I should have listened to my gut. Best wishes to you!0 -
Cindy,sinee said:so scared
You will be ok, know that first. you will be ok. Take a few deep breaths and know that so many women have been right where you are now.
We are all here for you, one step at a time. Gather all the information that you can. Talk to an Oncologist, as well as the surgeon..You don't always have a choice, between a lumpectomy and a mastectomy..it so much depends on location of the tumor...yours must be close to the nipple? That will reduce your choices...go with a list of questions for the surgeon and be sure to take someone with you and a note pad to take notes. You will have time to make a decision. Once you have been fully informed. Hang on Lori, you are going to be ok. Think positive, be postive, and you will get through this. I understand the word terrified now. I have had chemo, surgery, radiation and am on the mend and working my way back to normal. This will take about 8-10 months depending on your process. But you will make it through this. Let us know how we can help you, and keep asking questions. Remember the Doctors are all working for you, if you don't understand something ask, ask, ask. Best to you, Sinee/Cindy
The tumor is 3 cm
Cindy,
The tumor is 3 cm from my nipple. They also found a lump 2 cm from my nipple that is not cancerous. I know I need to talk with the surgeon to see if I even have an option. My husband and coming with me and hoping my sister will come also.
Thank you for your help.0 -
MomMichelleMomMichelle said:I know how scary this time
I know how scary this time can be. It is funny how you mention that you always thought if anything happened you would have them both cut off. I always said that too and I didn't...however, I wish I would have. I was diagnosed last June with DCIS and IDC (4mm). I knew after the biopsy that if it came back as cancer, it was coming off. Originally it came back pure DCIS. The night the doctor called, I said when can I have it off? The next Friday I had a single mastectomy. In that breast, they found the small invasive area. NEVER have I regretted my decision - it was right for ME. The only thing I do regret is not getting them both taken off. I was told not to worry so much about the other one, chance were it would never get cancer and it would be a very drastic step to take. After going in for my mammogram this June and the anxiety I had, I know I am getting the other one taken off too. I have an appointment September with a plastic surgeon. If you truly feel that you would want them both removed, really think about it. My surgeon (I love him) made me feel like I didn't need to do it, I knew I would always have these questions in my mind, I should have listened to my gut. Best wishes to you!
Did you have to
MomMichelle
Did you have to have radiation after your mastectomy? Did you or are you doing any reconstructive surgery?
Thanks0 -
LoriQ ... I had breast cancer in my left breast,LoriQ said:MomMichelle
Did you have to
MomMichelle
Did you have to have radiation after your mastectomy? Did you or are you doing any reconstructive surgery?
Thanks
opted for bilateral mastectomy -- I was horrified to think of this the first week or two of my breast cancer diagnosis -- my decision for bilateral - became clearer after my researching, reading anything I could get my hands on regarding breast cancer -- and surfing the Internet. In fact, my Surgeon tried to preserve my breasts -- which by the way, is the trend now.
My lumpectomy was performed by a General Surgeon -- due to the large tumor removed and lack of healing, chemo was suggested before bilateral, and reconstructive surgery. This is my case.
Please remember that we are individuals being seen by many Oncologist, or Specialists so our treatments plans vary from WARRIOR to WARRIOR.
Dr. Susan Love's book helped and guided me thru the earlier part of my cancer journey.
Strength, Courage and Hope.
Vicki Sam0 -
The truth is, Lori, they
The truth is, Lori, they rushed me along, too. My oncologist didn't see an option but to remove the breast because of the size of the tumor. I was scared and numb. If you're bothered by the speed of all this, get a second opinion.
prayers
Judy0 -
bilateral
Lori,
I had made the decision to have bilateral if ever they found anything because my sister had BC. Last October I decided to stick with that decision. I had mastectomy in march after 5 months of chemo. I don't regret the decision. I am 48 and am shooting for 100! I will have recon in april. I was undecided before. I have found I don't like having nothing there. I really can't get the prosthetic to feel comfortable yet. Lots of women here had the recon at the same time it just delays surgery till you can get the oncology and plastic surgeon at the same time.
I also had radiation because I had lymph nodes show positive. In that respect, waiting for recon was probably a good idea.
This is a very personal decision. You will make the right decision for you. There really is no wrong decision. It sounds like you have a good support system. This board is available most times of the day for any questions.
All the best,
Cindy0 -
Hi Lori and welcome to this
Hi Lori and welcome to this site. I cannot tell you what a help it's been to me.
I had a lumpectomy and radiation of the left breast stage #1 lobular carcinoma 26 years ago. I had a mastectomy and reconstruction of my right breast for a cluster of invasive ductile carcinoma cells and two in-situ areas 16 years ago. I am now back to the original left breast with a 3 -4 cn lobular tumor behind the original surgical site. In hind-site I wish I had had a mastectomy but, at the same time, reconstruction was not what it is today. Sadly this time I will not be able to do reconstruction because of where the tumor is located and how much tissue they need to take off. I can live with that today better than I could have 26 years ago. As everyone says, get as much information as you can, get a second opinion, talk to other women including these lovely ladies, and make an intention to be led. The Universe will not let you down. And of course talk to your husband. You will make the right decision for you. I will keep you in my prayers.
Hugs'n light
Pam0 -
I am so sorry Lori that youRE said::-/
Lori I am so sorry you have reason to be here but very glad you found us. I know this is a very scary time but you can do this and we will be here to help you. Choosing between a lumpectomy and a mastectomy is such a personal thing it is difficult to suggest one over the other to you. I have had a lumpectomy on my left side and a mastectomy on my left side. If you choose a double mastectomy you can have reconstruction and it does look pretty normal but does not have the same sensation as your breasts have. You will need to discuss it with your surgeon and your oncologist. I know time is short and it is all coming at you so fast, do what is best for you, do what gives you the greatest odds and the best quality of life you can achieve. I wish all the best, please come back and let us know how you are doing.
RE
I am so sorry Lori that you had to come here, but, I am wishing you the best of luck in what you decide to do.
Hugs, Diane0 -
I had 3.5 cm triple negative
I had 3.5 cm triple negative medullary tumor in my right breast and an extensive family history of breast cancer. I am not very large so my surgeon gave me the choice but suggested that the disfigurement would be severe with lumpectomy. I ultimately chose double mastectomy. It was not an easy choice and not one thing is right for every person. I decided that I could not spend my life worrying about lumps and more surgery. I also don't believe that breasts don't define a woman.
Do all the research you can and make the decision right for you.0 -
I had 3.5 cm triple negative
I had 3.5 cm triple negative medullary tumor in my right breast and an extensive family history of breast cancer. I am not very large so my surgeon gave me the choice but suggested that the disfigurement would be severe with lumpectomy. I ultimately chose double mastectomy. It was not an easy choice and not one thing is right for every person. I decided that I could not spend my life worrying about lumps and more surgery. I also don't believe that breasts don't define a woman.
Do all the research you can and make the decision right for you.0 -
You need more informationatiredparent said:I had 3.5 cm triple negative
I had 3.5 cm triple negative medullary tumor in my right breast and an extensive family history of breast cancer. I am not very large so my surgeon gave me the choice but suggested that the disfigurement would be severe with lumpectomy. I ultimately chose double mastectomy. It was not an easy choice and not one thing is right for every person. I decided that I could not spend my life worrying about lumps and more surgery. I also don't believe that breasts don't define a woman.
Do all the research you can and make the decision right for you.
Start a list of questions for when you see your surgeon. There are no rules that say you have to make a final decision right then and there. You can think about it after you leave if you want. If the surgeon recommends a particular procedure, or for instance, says that a lumpectomy is not an option for you, that might be different. You just don't have all the facts yet. If you're not comfortable, get a second opinion.
We all know frightened you are. I'm so happy your husband and sister will accompany you to your appointment.
My pcp said that I could probably "just" have a lumpectomy and radiation. When I saw the surgeon, he started talking about a mastectomy and reconstruction. I said "whoa - can I have a lumpectomy"? My mind was made up before I saw the surgeon primarily because I had a second surgery to deal with and I wanted to get on with that asap, but if lumpectomy had not been an option for me, I would not have hesitated to have a mastectomy.
In the end, I had a partial mastectomy and oncoplasty. See, there's even another option. My right breast (the one with cancer) was always larger than my left breast, so the surgeon suggested removing a larger amount of tissue than just the lump, and moving remaining tissue around for a better cosmetic effect. He called it a mini breast reduction. For the first time in my life, I have a "matched set". And that bigger chunk provided wide clear margins.
This is both a personal and a medical decision. Until you have all the medical facts and advice, please don't feel any pressure to make a decision. You'll know much more when you see your surgeon - I hope s/he is a breast cancer surgeon.
And - just for the record, I do second guess myself about my decision, but I would have also done that had I had a mastectomy.
Welcome to this board and best wishes for you.
Suzanne0 -
It is very scaryladyg said:Hi Lori
Sorry you have to join our group but glad you did. I made my decision based on what the surgeon and onc told me. I had a lumpectomy and radiation because they both said that was all I really needed.
Hugs,
Georgia
To get that initial diagnosis and then you can feel that information is coming at you so quickly that you barely have time to proccess. I am glad you have your husband and duster there with you at the appointment. Go in with a list of questions, that' what I always do or else I forget things I meant to ask. And have someone take notes so you can refer back to the notes later. So sorry this has happened to you but so glad you found this bossed...you will find a lot of support here!
Laura0 -
Lori, I don't know which is
Lori, I don't know which is worse...having to make that decision quickly or having months to think about it.
When I was dx, I was also told 'see the surgeon on Monday and probably surgery the next week'. And like you, I didn't know how I could decide something so important in such a short period of time.
When I saw the surgeon I was told I needed chemo first and that mastectomy was my only option (no reconstruction for at least a year in my case). So that left me with the choice between bilateral mastectomy or just the left. And through the months of chemo I went back and forth...take them both? take just the left? I finally decided to have both removed. That was done in Jan and I'm still comfortable with that decision. Next Jan I will decide about exploring reconstruction.
Once you have more information, and know what your options are, you will be able to make a decision. Try and be patient with yourself right now while you are doing research and putting together a list of questions for your surgeon. (Be sure to ask what is the best way to ask questions if they come up after the appointment is over...phone, email?) Most important, know that whatever you decide...it will be something that you can live with and that we will be here to provide support and answer questions.
I wish you the best of luck, and I wish you peace, strength, and courage.
Hugs,
Linda0 -
Sorry.
Lori,
I am SO SORRY you have to be here. Know that this time of first being diagnosed is the hardest time! Everything is scary and confusing. There is information overload and you are in shock. IT WILL GET BETTER!
I don't want to scare anyone, but I talked to a lot of women who had lumpectomies or just one breast removed and about 80% had cancer come back...including my own chemo nurse!
I just don't want to constantly be worried, so I am having a bilateral mastectomy on Thursday. It will also make reconstruction more aesthetically pleasing because they will match perfectly. If this is important to you.
Whatever you decide will be right for you.
Sending you strength,
and a BIG HUG!
Stay in touch,
V0 -
Thank YouVigee said:Sorry.
Lori,
I am SO SORRY you have to be here. Know that this time of first being diagnosed is the hardest time! Everything is scary and confusing. There is information overload and you are in shock. IT WILL GET BETTER!
I don't want to scare anyone, but I talked to a lot of women who had lumpectomies or just one breast removed and about 80% had cancer come back...including my own chemo nurse!
I just don't want to constantly be worried, so I am having a bilateral mastectomy on Thursday. It will also make reconstruction more aesthetically pleasing because they will match perfectly. If this is important to you.
Whatever you decide will be right for you.
Sending you strength, and a BIG HUG!
Stay in touch,
V</p>
Thank you all for sharing your stories. This has really helped me to take a breath and know that I am not alone. VickiSam I loved your 2 year post, it gave me hope and I'm sure touched a lot of people. Vigee, I'll be thinking of you on Thursday. Wishing everyone the best.
Lori0 -
Dear Lori
I can only
Dear Lori
I can only imagine...it is like dejavu to all of us, but you have to be strong and brave, one day you will have a chance to have your life back, im currently working on it
Also, the stage of your cancer can only be determined after surgery, once they open and see what they are dealing with your team can give you an idea of what is going on, be prepared that this is only the very begining - this is pretty standard - you are going for surgery and that is a good start.
Best luck!0
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