Aug 06, 2011 - 10:02 pm
It is now a year since my wife died of colon cancer (July 29th 2010). Her funeral was the following August 4th. I am waking up at 4:30 AM just like a year ago. I am okay, but I really miss her.
I have been through the grief support groups, therapy, connecting as much as I can. I still have some of her clothes, she had very nice clothes, many of which I bought for her on her birthday and Christmas. Today, I took some of them, a ski coat, her scrubs (She was a nurse) to the cancer consignment store, I would rather donate them there than anywhere else.
Last year I asked her brother to pay for half the funeral. His cost was about $3500.00 He can afford it. He did not do much for her when she was ill, wasn’t that he did not care, he is just so very self-absorbed-the day after her grave side service he called me on my cell to scold me that I did not wait for her casket to be buried. He was sure that her body would be stolen for medical research. That gives you an idea of what I had to put up with on the day and days after he funeral.
Since that day, not one time has he ever reached out to offer comfort to me or to my daughter, his ONLY niece. Oh sure, he will respond via e-mail when I send one first but never any attempt to say “How are you David?” Never any attempt to ask my daughter how she is coping with the loss of her mom.
He came up and left flowers at her grave site last week. He did not stop and say hello, he did not tell me he was coming. The only reason I know is because the bouquet has his name on it.
I have wondered if he felt put off sharing the cost of his sisters funeral or that he does not know how to grieve. At any rate, his actions leave me hurt and angry. I guess this is my fault in some ways because I was expecting a change in a person that I really should not have assumed would happen.
This is the place I can share crap like this.