Aug 06, 2011 - 11:31 am
Its been just over 4 months since I finished my 2nd round of chemo for my PPC. I have enjoyed my hair growing back and the general feeling of being normal again as I am free from the treatment. However, like most people I do feel a little anxious whilst being free from chemo - I mean, the cancer has the freedom now to rise up again, doesn't it?
So I am trying to enjoy this chemo break, whilst pulling at my 1cm length hair in order to make it grow quicker. Occasionally I test my breathing (my breathing has always been my biggest problem as I was diagnosed with plueral effusion - fluid around my lungs) by listening to see if I can hear the grating sound that indicates the fluid is back. I also run and swim and I am constantly aware that my breathing is not keeping up with my activity level. Another trick I have become very good at is pressing and proding my abdomen to see if I have ascites. Not sure why I would consider this would happen as it never has before. But you see I have gained weight and sometimes I know it is FAT around my middle and other times I am convinced I have ascites.
A few weeks ago I had managed to convince myself I had the fluid back. Never mind the fact I can breathe well, I am sure I can feel a tightening and hear a grating sound in the area of my lungs. I had been running and pushed myself too far, so much so I had a few moments of panicky breathing. The following few days I am sure I had bruised my lungs and diaphram. I had discomfort whenever I took deep breaths.
My oncologist did not seem interested in my vague issues so I visited my GP (Primary Care doctor) He ordered a chest x-ray & an abdo ultrsound.
The results from my chest x-ray show a small amount of fluid around my lungs and an enlarged heart. I believe the fluid is unchanged from November 2010, but my GP can't compare it to my last chest x-ray because he doesn't have it ----- my oncologist has it. My enlarged heart - well I am to have further investigations soon.
I think the point I have been trying to make is this; it is very scary once the treatment is finished as no one is monitoring you and taking care the cancer is not coming back. As soon as I knew I would be having further tests and investigations my anxiety disappeared and I felt much calmer.
Sorry this is such a lengthy message, I just needed to put it all down in writing to help me understand the way my crazy mind works !!!!!!