Aug 02, 2011 - 11:38 am
Watching her strength, stamina, memory and just caring slowly disappear is really getting to me.
Going from a patient, do anything I can, caring husband when she's awake to an angry, resentful, don't give a shit about the world zombie when she is asleep.
I can't accept this torture she is having to endure as part of any plan or pre-determined life. It isn't right and no amount of preaching will EVER make me believe her life was meant to be this way.
She's fighting as hard as she can to maintain a little independence just to drive herself to the dr. I ask and almost insist to take her but for now she is trying to make it on her own.
My heart if aching watching her suffer and my heart is breaking because I can't do a damn thing to help stop it.
I'm tired of watching her suffer, tired of feeling helpless, tired of racking my brain trying to think of something, someone that can stop it, fix it and make her stop hurting.
.....and I'm especially pissed that her sister isn't doing more to comfort her with words of encouragement. No calls to check on her, no calls with words of encouragement, nothing! I mean come on, what happened to this close sis-to-sis, talked @ least twice a week on the phone relationship!?
I can say and do just so much that will have any impact on her well being. She needs a shoulder to cry on but not one of her so called friends has made any effort to contact her. She is suffering alone but for me and I will NEVER forgive her fair weather friends for not standing up when they were needed.
I'm getting more angry as I write , best I go now so I'll be calm when she gets back from drs office.