Need to vent.......

Hope today gets better
Pokismom,
I don't have any words of wisdom especially as a caregiver rather than a patient but my husband just finished his fifth treatment yesterday of the same regiment you are on. It's a tough road but there continue to be many blessings as we get about 10 "normal" days out of every fourteen. I also read this site to draw strength from others who are survivors just like you. I wish you many "normal" days. You sound like a tough lady.

John23 said:

Donna -
Re:

"I try to use **** as inspiration and although I don't know him,
I think about all the treatments he has done and how strong he
has been thru it all, and I find strength. I think of Craig who
has gone thru everything you can imagine, and I gain more
strength. I think of Phil who has been on chemo for the past
seven years and I gain more strength"

So Emily (2bhealed), Lisa (scouty), and me (john23) and
countless others, that have chosen to do anything except
"chemo", doesn't count?

None of us had to deal with the harsh treatments, the side
effects of those harsh treatments, or the residual effect of
those harsh treatments..... Nor did we have to worry about
"second cancers:" caused by the terrible carcinogenic chemicals
that are used in the fight against cancer......

But we did not inspire you, or encourage anyone, to look into
any "alternative" treatment to cancer?

I may die of cancer, just as Emily or Scouty, or anyone else
regardless of the type of treatment; We may all succumb to the
perils of cancer....... but we all share one thing....

We have the hope that what we do, will keep us healthy.

There are many ways to fight cancer, Donna. Try not to limit
yourself to any "one way".

Try to pick your "heroes" without prejudice; we're all in this
battle together!

Stay well,

John

C'mon John...
Give Donna a break - you know she did not mean it like that. She's a dear friend of mine and I don't think she needs that kind of bash on the head, when she took the time to reveal how she was feeling and needed a safe haven to vent her frustrations.

I thought that is what this board stood for?

She's fighting with the traditional treatment, so she is just saying how people, whose stories she has followed, have helped her in her motivation to continue when times get tough for her. Plain and simple. No ifs and or buts about it.

I never club somebody over the head when I read about alternative procedures or treatments. I respect that person's decision and I read to make myself more informed and perhaps one day I will also consider these methods. After this last year of fighting chemically, I am more apt to consider something else should I still be in the fight.

If I don't agree with a post, I just walk away from it and don't respond, because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings if I can help it.

I think it's great that the alternative crowd has done so well. Being clear for that many years is a huge accomplishment and one to be lauded over and over. I fully support their methods and applaud their successes. Many is the time I wish I had that kind of courage.

Since there is no clear, direct path to fighting cancer and so many options exist, we all are free to pursue what we feel strongly about or have the most confidence in. Mainstream society still and probably always will put stock in mainstream medicines and treatments as opposed to alternatives, because that is what most of us have grown up with and what we were taught to believe in. Doesn't make it right or wrong - just simply what is.

You are always so quick to hammer chemo and its effectiveness. It does suck and it is harsh and it does carry with it side effects, many of which can be damaging and permanent. But, you really try and make folks who take it, feel like they are wrong, because they have not changed their protocol and go your way.

On the good side of chemo, you always use Phil's case as the one you point to for success. (Phil, I love you and am not clubbing you - just sayin').

You always conveinently, or should I say purposely, overlook me and my story, like it's not important or relevant to the board. This is, of course, because you like Phil and probably don't care much for me. No problem there, I need your stamp of approval like I need another recurrence and my story speaks for itself.

I am the poster child for traditional cancer treatment. I've had 3 recurrences in 7 years but I've knocked cancer back in the shadows each and every time and got back to watch and wait status, which have been huge victories. How many of us have done that?

I'm proof that chemo, surgery, and radiation can work and can be a "possible path" towards wellness. It's not the only way, just the way that I have chosen so far - and I've had success with it.

When you consider that cancer can catch us 1-3 years after diagnosis, I have beaten terrible odds time and time again and lived to walk away from the train wreck. So whether you like me or not, mine is a success story to a large degree. I still figure to get recurrence again, because I've witnessed how cancer has operated in me, but I am winning victories and they should be looked at and they do count.

We always give so much credence to the NED club - and rightfully so. They have earned it and they deserve it and so much more. This is the brass ring that we all want to grab.

But there is also a segment of our community - a very tiny community that seems to consist of 3 people, who have been actively fighting cancer for 7-8 years in our community. If my memory serves me correctly...

They are: TaraHK (8-years), Phil (7-years), Craig (7-years)

We are the long-term fighting club of our community and our stories are just as relevant as the long term NED stories that we read about here. NEDs show us where we'd like to be. Long-term fighters let us know what we are capable of doing and where we can go. There is plenty of room here for all of us to survive and thrive.

So, as much as you disagree with the chemo method, you should also consider the evidence that we 3 individuals point to as the secret of our success. Right now, it works for us, but I believe we are all open to other avenues - that's part of the journey - that's part of the process - that's the walk down the Path of Enlightenment.

Donna's not looking at us like "heroes" as you say, she is merely drawing strength from what she is seeing through her own 2 eyes. I'm proud that she thinks me in those terms. I'm sure she thinks highly of you and everyone who is suffering from cancer, regardless of the treatment method they selected.

I've always tried to listen and respect what you say. Even if I don't always agree with what you have said, I defend and respect your right to say it. In this way, Donna is no different - she's got the right to express what she feels and what she wants to say without a derogatory comment.

She's going through a lot and has been off the board for a year. She's back with recurrence and needs this board to post her feelings and get the help she needs. She doesn't need to hurt because of what she said and she doesn't need to be afraid to come here.

I like her and care for her and she's been a very good friend to me and your reply just upset me today and I decided to just say something. Donna will probably be hurt with your response and her being hurt, hurts me. So, I felt compelled to stand up for my friend this morning.

Nothing personal - good health as you say.

-Craig