Very Concerned Daughter and new (grateful) for this site

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Manf88
Manf88 Member Posts: 20
in Esophageal Cancer #1
My father is 73. Up till now, he enjoyed good overall health. Within the past 3 months he endured the removal of his appendics and colon (no cancer found/the removals was due to severe ulcerative colitis/nonerosive gastritis). Then he needed some other surgeries due to complications of being bed-ridden (drain in leg due to blood clot) and a feeding tube due to malnutrition and failure to thrive. He lost signicant weight. During the procedure of the feeding tube a biopsy was taken of his esophagus, which was cancerous.

Quoting the report, "a large friable mass noted at 40 cm from the incisors in the distal esophagus just proximal to the gastroesophageal junction. The esophagus was approximately 8 cm in length and compromised 50 percent of the luminal wall, although there was a clear passage through the esophageal mass into the stomach allowing the esophagus to be patent. The mucisa was very friable and malignant-appearing. Cold biopsies were obtained of the distal espphageal mass and placed in a bottle."

Due to his current condition (weakness, malnutrtition and failure to thrive) addtional testing was not recommended until his present condition improves.

What I am desprately seeking (I live in Florida/Dad lives in NJ) is some sort of idea of his chances of survival. We have no idea what stage the cancer is in. Additionally, due to his state-of-mind (depression, anxiety) from being bed-ridden, he does not know he has cancer yet. We were hoping he would get stronger, get further testing and then tell him. Some may think this was a bad idea, but at the time, we think he would have given up altogether. (He was having suicidal/homicidal thoughts and very confused with sense of time and mixing dreams with reality---those have all subsided).
Given his age and present condition, I know the prognosis is not what I would like it to be. I just want to know how much time we have with him. I know no one can pin-point it or predict the future as it is in someone elses' hands, but any feedback/support would really help. Thank you in advance! It just feels good to write it all out.

Comments

  • Daisylin
    Daisylin Member Posts: 365
    #2
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    Welcome
    Hi, and welcome to this site. Here you will find lots of information, guidance and support as you help your dad face EC. You are right, sometimes you need to just write it all out, to others who know exactly what you're going through.

    The question you posed about his chance of survival is a tricky one. Depending on the stage of his cancer, which you don't know yet, as well as his other health conditions, it is impossible to give any sort of timeline for you. Please do yourself a favour and don't read the online prognosis pages found all over the internet. They are outdated, and inaccurate. Not only that, but they are depressing to read.

    We have people on here that are 9 year EC survivors, and others not so lucky. If you or another family member has power of attorney for his medical care, the doctor's will talk to you, and be able to give you a better idea of what kind of treatment they recommend for your dad. Then when you are ready to tell your dad, you will have all the information you need. They likely won't tell you anything until the staging is complete. Different stages require different treatment. Also, if the cancer has spread anywhere else, that's another story all together. Depending on the stage of his cancer, he may be operable, which would be a good thing if his body could handle it. (sounds like he's pretty weak right now) Also, they will likely want to do chemo and possibly radiation. They most likely won't do any treatments if he's not strong enough to handle it. Chemo and radiation take a toll on the body, and will weaken it further.

    I hope that helps a bit, it's not easy to read I'm sure. You will find friends here, please feel free to ask any questions that you may have. You certainly have a full plate. I'm sure many others will welcome you and be able to give you more advice than what I was able to.

    Chantal
  • Manf88
    Manf88 Member Posts: 20
    #3
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    Daisylin said:

    Welcome
    Hi, and welcome to this site. Here you will find lots of information, guidance and support as you help your dad face EC. You are right, sometimes you need to just write it all out, to others who know exactly what you're going through.

    The question you posed about his chance of survival is a tricky one. Depending on the stage of his cancer, which you don't know yet, as well as his other health conditions, it is impossible to give any sort of timeline for you. Please do yourself a favour and don't read the online prognosis pages found all over the internet. They are outdated, and inaccurate. Not only that, but they are depressing to read.

    We have people on here that are 9 year EC survivors, and others not so lucky. If you or another family member has power of attorney for his medical care, the doctor's will talk to you, and be able to give you a better idea of what kind of treatment they recommend for your dad. Then when you are ready to tell your dad, you will have all the information you need. They likely won't tell you anything until the staging is complete. Different stages require different treatment. Also, if the cancer has spread anywhere else, that's another story all together. Depending on the stage of his cancer, he may be operable, which would be a good thing if his body could handle it. (sounds like he's pretty weak right now) Also, they will likely want to do chemo and possibly radiation. They most likely won't do any treatments if he's not strong enough to handle it. Chemo and radiation take a toll on the body, and will weaken it further.

    I hope that helps a bit, it's not easy to read I'm sure. You will find friends here, please feel free to ask any questions that you may have. You certainly have a full plate. I'm sure many others will welcome you and be able to give you more advice than what I was able to.

    Chantal

    Thank you
    Thank you for your response. As I ready your reply, tears came to my eyes just because someone responded and with that, I don't feel alone. I appreciate your time! :)
    Have a great day!
  • Daisylin
    Daisylin Member Posts: 365
    #4
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    Manf88 said:

    Thank you
    Thank you for your response. As I ready your reply, tears came to my eyes just because someone responded and with that, I don't feel alone. I appreciate your time! :)
    Have a great day!

    alone
    We will likely never meet, but you are not alone. We all feel your pain and know your heartache. I'm sure many others will welcome you into our 'club'. It's not a club where anyone would ever want to join, but we're all grateful for all the support and information we get from each other.
    Stay strong,
    Chantal
  • NikiMo
    NikiMo Member Posts: 342
    #5
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    Hi
    Just wanted to let you know there are others out here reading your message. Sorry that you had to find us, but I am glad you reached out so you don't feel alone. My husband has EC recently diagnosed stage IIb. Unfortunately there are alot of newbies on this site, but on the upside we have found a place of support and information. I am certain you will get more info from the more expierienced folks shortly. But, from one newbie to another I am praying and pulling for your father.

    Niki
  • paul61
    paul61 Member Posts: 1,391 Member
    #6
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    I am so sorry your Dad is having problems
    It sounds like your Dad has certainly had his share of challenges this year. He had a real battle even before he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. I know it must be a difficult for you and his family to decide how much to share about his diagnosis given his current delicate physical condition.

    The question of survival chances is difficult to estimate even with all the staging information. It sounds like your Dad is in the early stages of diagnosis and staging so in the absence of the entire picture and given his current health challenges it would be difficult to even suggest treatment outcomes.

    Of course that statistics are grim but they don’t account for the unique situation of each individual. Your Dad’s current health status certainly makes the rigors of chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and surgery sound daunting.

    People do survive esophageal cancer with timely and aggressive treatment.

    It seems the best thing you can do for your Dad now is to provide the emotional support he needs at this time. None of us know how much time we have and we have little control over what may happen in the future. But we do have some control over what we do in this present moment and life is just a string of “present moments”. You mentioned that you were in Florida and he is in New Jersey. I would try to spend as much valuable time with him as possible. That way regardless of the outcome he will have your presence and love to support him.

    I will be praying that your Dad improves and his diagnosis is in the early stages.


    Best Regards,

    Paul Adams
    McCormick, South Carolina

    DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0 Stage IIB
    12/03/2009 Ivor Lewis
    2/8 through 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
    6/21/2010 CT Scan NED
    3/14/2011 CT Scan NED

    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
  • linda1120
    linda1120 Member Posts: 389
    #7
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    I am so sorry
    I am so sorry for what you are going through. I can't really give you advice
    with the limited information, but I do want you to know that there are people
    who care about you and your father. You will all be in my prayers.

    Linda
  • Manf88
    Manf88 Member Posts: 20
    #8
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    paul61 said:

    I am so sorry your Dad is having problems
    It sounds like your Dad has certainly had his share of challenges this year. He had a real battle even before he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. I know it must be a difficult for you and his family to decide how much to share about his diagnosis given his current delicate physical condition.

    The question of survival chances is difficult to estimate even with all the staging information. It sounds like your Dad is in the early stages of diagnosis and staging so in the absence of the entire picture and given his current health challenges it would be difficult to even suggest treatment outcomes.

    Of course that statistics are grim but they don’t account for the unique situation of each individual. Your Dad’s current health status certainly makes the rigors of chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and surgery sound daunting.

    People do survive esophageal cancer with timely and aggressive treatment.

    It seems the best thing you can do for your Dad now is to provide the emotional support he needs at this time. None of us know how much time we have and we have little control over what may happen in the future. But we do have some control over what we do in this present moment and life is just a string of “present moments”. You mentioned that you were in Florida and he is in New Jersey. I would try to spend as much valuable time with him as possible. That way regardless of the outcome he will have your presence and love to support him.

    I will be praying that your Dad improves and his diagnosis is in the early stages.


    Best Regards,

    Paul Adams
    McCormick, South Carolina

    DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0 Stage IIB
    12/03/2009 Ivor Lewis
    2/8 through 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
    6/21/2010 CT Scan NED
    3/14/2011 CT Scan NED

    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!

    Thank you
    Greetings and thank you for your kind words. I sometimes feel guilty for knowing about his condition before he does. He is still in the rehabilitation/nursing home center for at least another week or so (dependent on progress and insurance). His feeding tube still remains and lost only one pound last week. We were going to tell him prior to leaving the rehab., but our other issue is my brothers' wedding in mid-September. My mother feels if we told him prior to the wedding, he would become depressed again and just give up. I truly believe one's emotional state is liked to your physical health. However, when would a 'good time' be to tell someone they have cancer? I don't think there is an answer to that. I also believe that if we told him when we found out (a month ago) he would not be where he is today. Thank you again for your response and my family and I are going up to NJ in a few weeks to celebrate my daughter's birthday with my mom and dad! :)
  • Manf88
    Manf88 Member Posts: 20
    #9
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    linda1120 said:

    I am so sorry
    I am so sorry for what you are going through. I can't really give you advice
    with the limited information, but I do want you to know that there are people
    who care about you and your father. You will all be in my prayers.

    Linda

    Thank you
    Thank you for your response. Just your smiling pic was just what I needed on a Monday morning.
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #10
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    Manf88 said:

    Thank you
    Thank you for your response. Just your smiling pic was just what I needed on a Monday morning.

    Welcome
    Hello and welcome to you and your dad. It is unfortunate that you had to come here, but this is the best place to be to find comfort, understanding, and lots of information and encouragement. My dad passed from ec in March 2010. It is a very hard battle, but can be won. He has to have a positive attitude. Find out all the info you can. Ask a lot of questions. There are quite a few ec survivors here. Take this journey one day at a time. We are always here for you. Keep in touch. Your dad needs to look forward to his son's wedding. This is something positive for him to look forward to.
    Tina in Va

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