Back to work?

Hi... Is there anyone out there, post treatment and clear, who has not yet returned to work??? I am 15 months clear; but, having a rough time recuperating. Mentally, I am ready and I want to go back to work in the worst way. Physically, I am having troubles with neuropathy in my hands and feet and a loss of balance. I weeble and wobble while I am standing and walking.. I have fallen down the stairs, since I cabn't feel my legs or feet sometimes. I have fallen going up the stairs, for the same reason. I lose my balance while in the shower when closing my eyes. I am stiff in the hips while sitting, anything more than 5 minutes and I have to get up and move around. I get weak while standing, cause I don't have my balance. It is difficult to get up from a squat or after dropping something on the floor. Occasionally, I drop things because I can't always feel my hands. I spilled a cup of hot tea on my hand, and scalded myself... another ER visit. I drive a lot for my job, and I interview people. Sometimes the interviews are 3 hours long. I have the fecal urgency and bouts of diarhea... no matter how I try to manage my diet. Usually every day there is about an 8 hour period when I have to be around a bathroom, often. Sometimes it starts at around 8 am, sometimes at 2pm, sometimes a night... I keep my "medical supply bag" (sanitary napkins, aquaphor, wipes, imodium, compazine, and hand sanitizer) in my purse with me at all times. When I leave the house, I always wear "protection" in case I don't make it to the bathroom...Do you know how embarassing that is during Mass??? Also, although I don't have constipation often, sometimes I feel like I have to strain, then I start bleeding again.. another reason for the pads. My drs said the bleeding is normal and I may always have it, (probably from the radiation making the butt and aginal walls tighter/smaller). It isn't a concern unless I am losing too much blood, then I have to go to the ER again. My left side is worse than my right... it is very hard to get into the car because I can't maneuver my legs without being a contortionist. So, I am not cleared to go back to my job... mainly because of the balance problem and the bathroom problem. Also, I try not to expend all my energy... I have good days where I feel like I can do anything, but the next day I am wiped out. I don't have my stamina bck. I have tried physical therapy, and pool therapy, but had to stop cause the insurance and my cash ran out. Plus, the chlorine in the pool was a real irritant to the pelvic area. The pt helped for the stiffness, but my balance is only improving at a slow snail's pace. Is anyone else experiencing anything like this??? Thanks for any input you have. God bless. It is strange. I remember my father in the hospital in 1991 for congestive heart failure. He was in for several months. Not once did he ask "Why me?" He always said "God bless!" I carry that in my heart for all of us. God bless.