Flunking radiation

So it is looking like I may not be a rad grad on 6/30 as earlier planned. Was told on Monday when I saw my RO that I am to have nothing touch my skin but the breeze from a fan and that he will check me on Thursday when I am supposed to get my last regular treatment and markings for boosts to see if he is going to stop treatments for 5 days.

I am trying to be a grown up about it and realize that I don't want 3rd degree burns and all that goes with that, but I am sooooooooooo close to done! This ride started with a mammogram in mid October, hasn't stopped yet, and I want to get off!!!!!

Yes, he has a good reputation and is a highly regarded RO, yes I drive a 2 hour daily round trip to avoid the local ctr with the rep for overradiating people, and yes I understand that being angry is not getting me anywhere and is a contradiction to what I just said. But....BOY AM I TICKED!!!!!

I won't deny that stopping treatment for a few days was explained at the beginning, but I was led to believe it rarely if ever happened and we had so many options before it came to that that I never took it seriously. I wish they had told me that due to my fair skin, etc, etc, they were going to build in 10 extra days and if I didn't need them great, if I did my end date would be 7/10 or 7/15, then, like chemo when you are worried about your counts and trtmt is a question, I would not have focused so much on the earlier end date and just hoped for it while accepting a later date.

So, I have taken time off work again, thank God they are understanding, and have been sitting around 1/2 topless with my 1/2 flat chest totally gooped up and just hanging out. Yes, the skin peeled off, yes it is brilliant red, no it is not weeping or oozing or painful.

It just doesn't seem right that I took off 10 working days for a mastectomy, a total of 18 working days for chemo and could now be looking at 8 days or more for rads? I thought rads were supposed to be the "easy" part of cancer trtmt. (and yes I followed all instruction for skin care to the letter, including leaving each and every rad trtmt as a lopsided woman with no bra until the following morning, and every week I heard how much better I was doing than he thought I would and how good everything looked)

OK that's my rant, I just hope I can find the strength and gumption to go back for the boosts after he calls a halt. Right now that is a big question in my mind, yes I know the rational reasons to continue, I'm just not feeling very rational

Jennifer