Jun 21, 2011 - 11:50 am
After 16 long years of fighting cancer my mother passed away yesterday afternoon. The last 8 months were very hard on her. She had become more frail and lost her independence. She was miserable not being able to do the things she loved to do. In the last week she developed a case of shingles. We just assumed it was because of her weakened immune system but still thought we had more time. Yesterday morning she was found unresponsive but breathing. I went to see her and tell her how much I loved her. I told her it was okay to go. I told her she didn't need to suffer anymore. I assured her I would be okay without her. I left to inform other family, call the mortuary, eat something, and run an errand. One of my aunts and cousins should up and I arrived shortly after they did. She stopped breathing right as I was arriving. My only consolation is that she did not suffer and was not frightened by what was happening to her. Those were our worst fears. In addition she was surrounded by family when it happened. I guess in those ways it couldn't have gone any better. My only regret is that I didn't see her the last day she was conscious. The week before had been rough on both of us. When I saw her Saturday she looked better and said she was feeling better. So I took Sunday off to breathe and be with other family. Had I known that was my last opportunity to see her I wouldn't have gone anywhere else. I just never expected it to happen so quickly. I thought we had a little more time. My heart is relieved she doesn't have to suffer anymore but it also hurts to not have her here anymore. I'm 28 years old and have been caring for my mom since 1995. I have no idea what I am going to do without her here. She was such a big part of my life.
I love you mom and I ALWAYS will. There won't be a day in my life where I don't think of you. I promised you I would stay strong and I'm trying to keep my word. I hope I make you proud but most of all I hope to see you one day.