Jun 07, 2011 - 9:08 am
Through my dad's battle with cancer I have been so focused on him and his needs, I guess Im suffering my classic "caregivers syndrome"
Im so physically and emotionally drained. Hospice came in yesterday and yes it was a relief but yet more for me to deal with. More medications, more paperwork, more phone calls, more information. Im hoping at some point it will all level off.
And of course after being told we are entering the final chapter or journey if you will,Making many difficult phone calls to family I can't stand to hear the phone ring. Today, my grandparents are driving in from ohio matter of fact they should be leaving there Right now. This should be a sense of relief right?? Well not exactly..More for me to take care of..They have not seen my dad or me for that matter in over a year. Now My dad is anxious about them coming, and thier reaction to what he has become,
Tomorrow is going to reach even more challenges. It's My Mothers Birthday and also we have an appt for a thoracic consult..which I am dreading..I really don't think it's wise for him to go through any procedures including a stent placement. I think we are looking at more trouble than good. Not only that if he were to go through a procedure, then he gets pulled off hospice temporarily, Being told he has about two months..is it really worth the risks... I don't think so but he is still very strong willed which we all know is essential to compete with this beast...but at the same point all I can do is voice my concerns in the end it's his decision.
We've been battling for 2 years been misdiagnosed uninformed ect. I just don't know where I can pull anymore strength.
Thanks for listening ...any suggestions are welcome
Hope this finds all of you in good health and spirits,