Jun 06, 2011 - 12:32 pm
So, for many years, my beloved Dennis would often suggest that we visit the airport(before 911, of course), and play the hello-goodbye kissing game! In this game you would go to the airport and pretend that one was leaving or returning, thus the need for passionate goodbye kisses and hugs, or welcome home ones! What a silly and exquisite idea! Through our lives, there were several occasions that we didn't even need to pretend, as one of us did fly out for business and such. He was a master player of the game! I wasn't too bad myself!
Upon my return from my travels, a deep sadness occurred, as my mind, body and soul was starkly aware that this was not going to happen! It took my breath away, the tears flowed freely. Thank goodness for large, dark sunglasses. I will be honest with you, dear ones, as good as I have become from "bouncing" back from a grief episode, as I call them, this one has hung on a bit longer.
I continue to cling to my Lord for His love and care. I continue to pray that He heal my broken heart with His warm balm. As the days pass, I have used this technique when these episodes occur: Yes, I allow myself to feel the hurt, I cry, I pray for it not to last too long. Then I go through the scrapbook of memories in my mind, choose a relevant one, and immerse myself into it. I try to see him, see me. What we were doing. The sound of our laughter, together. I breathe deep, I try to recall the scent of the moment, on a beach somewhere, his cologne. I smile, I thank God for having given us that time. I thank Dennis for having given me that time. For the most part, when I emerge from this state of euphoria I am calm once again. I think to myself, "so this is why we have been given the gift of memory. To be able to calm a sorrowed heart, to realize how blessed we were and by being able to recall, how blessed we continue to be".
May you all recall a beautiful memory today!