May 29, 2011 - 10:29 am
I lost my 85 year old father to colon cancer back in Feb. Even before he died, I was in constant overdrive; taking care of him, watching his decline, knowing that he was going to leave me. Thank goodness for Hospice, friends, and family; they got me through some really tough times. After his death, the big push was getting his house on the market to sell. After several weeks, we listed it and to my astonishment, signed a contract two days later. Dad must have been watching over me! Now, I feel like I'm finally getting caught up with my other "dad" stuff: paying bills, cancelling accounts, all that horrible paperwork; the house is on its way to a new owner, and apart from tax stuff, I feel I should be calming down. But, I feel like I've hit that proverbial brick wall - I'm still running that marathon but I am so out of steam/ but to top things off, I am having trouble sleeping, my thyroid is going haywire again (hyper/hypo), the occasional panic attack/anxiety/fears come and go, and I've had episodes of hot flashes two of the last three mornings. Even though I am seeing a grief counselor and have great support from my family, I am still feeling so sad and miss my dad every day. I just need to talk...my dad lived just a few blocks away from me and my family. He was a constant and now he is gone. It hurts; some days I seem fine then others are really bad. Bad days may have been put on hold temporarily while we worked on his "stuff". Now there's more room in my head to think and reality is slowly seeping in.Thanks for "listening" - this discussion board seems like a good idea.