May 18, 2011 - 12:45 am
My mom's cancer is growing in many different places now. Since a hospitalization in October of 2010 she has been in one institution or the other. Her doctor finally said she needs to be at a skilled nursing facility for the time being as I alone cannot provide the kind of care she needs. Dealing with her cancer is hard enough. It just gets ugly with her mental state. She's absolutely mean sometimes. Mean to me, mean to the people that help her, mean to her family. In addition, there are a plethera of false accusations she has made about her roommate and the staff at the SNF. For example, her roommate (a 70 year old woman recovering from a stroke) is involved in prostitution and poisoning her. I cannot talk to anyone, including family or friends, because she does not like it. She will accuse me of treating them better than I treat her. When I do not do things the way she would want me to or do not agree with her it just gets worse. She reminds me every day that she wants to go home. Although she says she understands I cannot care for her alone; I honestly think she wants me to drop my life so she can go home. It's almost like she guilts me with this every day. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm patient, I visit every day, I'm there for her as much as I can be and nothing makes her happy. It gets harder and harder every day. I know there are no solutions to this problem. I just needed someone to hear me out.