Just need to rant...ignore if you don't want to listen

Options
Survivor73
Survivor73 Member Posts: 135
in Breast Cancer #1
So, I had rad #12 of 21 today...more than halfway done. Saw my thyroid surgeon yesterday to setup surgery for July...the plan is to wait until I was done and healed from breast cancer before starting to deal with the thyroid cancer reoccurance - it's now in my lymph nodes in my neck.

So the surgery will be to cut from my scar (front of neck) up to my ear lobe, or there about. I'm sure I'll look wonderful...

Also, caught my kids cold so I have a sinus headache (took tylenol, but didn't take it away totally)

I've been ok from the rads except I'm exhausted...I had a nap today, so not bad other than the headache...oh, and I started tomaxifin and having the hot flashes and my hands and wrists are killing me...

I'm so tired of being tired...I just want to relax in a nice hot bath, but can't even do that...

I'm scared that this next surgery could damage the nerve in my arm - my right arm and of course I am right handed...did I mention I am big into baseball...even a little damage and that will likely be done for me.

Ok, that's enough for now...I was also worried that the lymph node surgery would ruin my arm and I played ball on day 1 of rads...haven't been able to play since, too tired.

Sorry for complaining...just needed to vent...everyone in my fam is so sick of listening I think...and I'm not one to ask anyone for help. Did I mention my house is a disaster...lol. Oh well, I can live with it for a few more weeks...

Hope all is well with everyone...

Comments

  • mamolady
    mamolady Member Posts: 796 Member
    #2
    Options
    Tired of being tired....
    I know what you mean. I don't remember feeling normal. After chemo, I started feeling ok then surgery. Now I still nap but I don't hurt most of the time and radiation starts tomorrow. Seems like the abuse will never end.
    The only thing I can offer is that I finally got tired of the house being a mess and paid someone to clean the bathrooms and mop and vacuum the floors. Every time I got started cleaning, I would be to tired to finish! So for today I have a reasonably clean house. It won't stay that way with a 7 year old and 2 labradors but I will deal with that later...
    Also, do you know about cleaning for a reason? ACS can help you access them. They will clean your house for free.
  • ladyg
    ladyg Member Posts: 1,577
    #3
    Options
    Venting is good
    We are here to listen and symphatize as well. With all that you have going on right now I can see why you need to let it out. I am sorry that you are going through so much all at one time. I will keep you in my thoughts and send you positive energy to help you through. What kind of baseball do you play? I am not a player but my husband plays on a senior softball team so I go to as many games as I can.

    Hugs,
    Georgia
  • Survivor73
    Survivor73 Member Posts: 135
    #4
    Options
    ladyg said:

    Venting is good
    We are here to listen and symphatize as well. With all that you have going on right now I can see why you need to let it out. I am sorry that you are going through so much all at one time. I will keep you in my thoughts and send you positive energy to help you through. What kind of baseball do you play? I am not a player but my husband plays on a senior softball team so I go to as many games as I can.

    Hugs,
    Georgia

    slowpitch
    Hi Ladyg...I play slow pitch baseball, and have for over 30 years...I have always played sports - ice hockey, ball, gymnastics, ringette, ball hockey, field hockey, cheerleading, basketball, badminton, you name it, I've probably done it or tried it at some point...

    The thought of not being able to play is a big concern for me...

    Met my hubby playing ball...we both still play.

    will be in a tournament the July 1st weekend, hopefully it won't be my last :)

    thx
  • ilferro1
    ilferro1 Member Posts: 20
    #5
    Options
    Me too
    My family is tired of my ranting and crying as well. I guess that's why we're here for each other. My house was the last thing on my mind. We did get help with the cleaning from Cleaning for a Reason. I'm sure someone at ACS can put you in touch with such a crew near you. It will definitely give you a lift to have a clean house. You can rant to me any time you want, we all need an outlet. xoxo
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #6
    Options
    H Survivor
    I can totally understand where you are coming from. It was so hard on me to
    constantly be tired, I kept thinking if I push myself I can do anything, at least
    that is the common belief. And when it knocked the wind out of me I got even
    angry.

    You are going through so much... I hope your surgery will go well and hopefully
    not inflict any more problems for you.

    NEVER apologize for venting, we are here because we care and therefore you
    don't have to pretend with us. A shared burden becomes lighter.

    BIIIIIIG HUUUUGE hug for you!
    Ayse
  • poplolly
    poplolly Member Posts: 346
    #7
    Options
    Survivor,
    Vent all you need
    Survivor,

    Vent all you need to. We all understand the need.
    This is the perfect place for that and for uplifting thoughts...and prayers....
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #8
    Options
    aysemari said:

    H Survivor
    I can totally understand where you are coming from. It was so hard on me to
    constantly be tired, I kept thinking if I push myself I can do anything, at least
    that is the common belief. And when it knocked the wind out of me I got even
    angry.

    You are going through so much... I hope your surgery will go well and hopefully
    not inflict any more problems for you.

    NEVER apologize for venting, we are here because we care and therefore you
    don't have to pretend with us. A shared burden becomes lighter.

    BIIIIIIG HUUUUGE hug for you!
    Ayse

    sometimes i feel bad that I
    sometimes i feel bad that I am more disconnected from this site. I tend to read but quite frankly dont have the energy to post consistently. I find my energy level gets sapped pretty quickly, however if I look back I am so much better than I was. When I start to stress about the what ifs, I just break it down and take it one day at a time. You have dealt with so much that you know you will deal with anything that comes up, we are strong and resilient. Hoping the effects are minimal.
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #9
    Options
    We get it!
    Oh I so recall being tired of being tired and no escape in sight. Hang in there, its worth it in the long run and things will improve.

    Hugs,

    RE
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
    #10
    Options
    RE said:

    We get it!
    Oh I so recall being tired of being tired and no escape in sight. Hang in there, its worth it in the long run and things will improve.

    Hugs,

    RE

    we do get it
    Yes we do get it!! Like RE said things will improve. rant away we are here to listen because we've been there.

    Cleaning for a reason--is another story--never any openings or at least that is what some have found.

    When I was on treatment I would clean one bathroom one day then the next day do the next bathroom and then the next day do the livingroom etc---I did not want anyone--especially my mother to come in and help clean so I would do it myself. I never asked for help even shoveling off the roof in the winter--but that is me.

    Margo

Discussion Boards