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My story

reddreamer's picture
reddreamer
Posts: 6
Joined: May 2011

My story begins with a trip to the ER because of some insane pain. That Doctor came back and told me there was a grapefruit sized growth on my ovary but not to worry because woman my age"26" don't get this type of cancer. I was refereed to gynecologist surgeon who took one look at the scans told me not to worry "Women your age do not get ovarian cancer but I wan to refer you to a gynecological oncologist just to be on the safe side. I went to the oncologist he said we will remove but not to worry same as everyone before. Went into surgery have mass removed. Doctor tells me we got the whole mass it's a solid teratoma usually these are benign nothing to worry about. A week and half later which was two days ago I received a lot of information My pathology reports came back from having my ovary an tube removed. I had a malignant teratoma on the right ovary. There was good news that it was stage one. They think they got it all but I have to go in next week and talk about undergoing Chemo treatment. I am angry and sad and all sorts of emotions and all anyone wants to tell me is to be happy it could be worse, be happy so things will go well. Then I ask when the hell is my turn to deal with the news. I can fake a smile and go on, but doesn't holding in the emotion make it worse? Maybe

tanker sgv's picture
tanker sgv
Posts: 128
Joined: Nov 2010

Welcome to this cancer-forsaken site. I couldn't image what you must be going through
. But I do know whatever u feel is the right feeling for you right now. We all are different if u want to smile then smile and if you get pissed, flip someone the bird. There is no right or wrong when cancer is involved, it just is. It will be a journey with beautiful views overlooking the valleys and there will also be stormy nights. Please keep posting often and say whatever you want here. This is the one place where we can all relate. Take care _tank

ms.sunshine
Posts: 710
Joined: Mar 2010

No one can grasp the emotions that one feels when they hear the news, "it's malignant." Drs. have fancy names for everything, it's cancer damn it, just say the words, as if not saying the word "cancer" will somehow make it better.

Find some alone time to sort out your emotions. Don't let the bad feelings consume you. Keep us posted. Hopefully you won't need chemo.

Noellesmom
Posts: 1302
Joined: Aug 2010

I agree with you, red: you feel what you feel.

Yes, the news could have been worse but it could have been better, too.

You come here and vent and talk and scream and do whatever you want or need to do, red.

We are here.

Sounds to me like you are right on target with the mix of emotions you are having.

Who wouldn't?

Lots and lots of hugs.

thomasman
Posts: 20
Joined: May 2011

raising kids, fighting cancer, and dying. three topics there are thousands of book written on how to do it, but not one of them fits for everyone. hell no dont hold it in!!! dam straight the fight can have anger and fear! and dont the well doers sometimes make ya wanna choke em til their eyes pop out!! i held it in for as long as i could when i got the news and, then, one night in my shop, i lost it. if there woulda been a fan in there, poop woulda hit it. but tools flew, words flew, and it all aimed at God, and i went on for about 10 minutes. then, when i sat down, i felt a comfort. an amazing feeling came over me. it was God. he was there and everything was going to be okay. He knew ( and is the only one who knows exactly) how i was feeling. it felt good to blow up. but i like to do it in a private place. although, it would be interesting to see how people would respond in the middle of walmart.

Noellesmom
Posts: 1302
Joined: Aug 2010

Not sure most people would even notice.

Good, good, good for you that you screamed and threw tools.

You are right: we can't say anything that God doesn't already know we are feeling.

I have quieter meltdowns that take longer, but I definitely have my melt-downs. Watching a loved one go through cancer treatments and dealing with everyone else involved is very hard.

Hugs, thomas.

thomasman
Posts: 20
Joined: May 2011

yeah, that was a one time deal with the tools. now i am like you, i get occasional meltdowns too. then hand it back to God.

Lucky Gal
Posts: 1
Joined: Feb 2014

Hi,

I can totally understand your frustration. First of all I want to know how you are now? I hope it's all behind you.

I was diagnosed with a malignant ovarian teratoma at age 11 by pure chance. I wanted a day off school and told my mother I had a stomach ache. She probed around to feel where it hurt and I saw her face freeeze. She put me in the car and rushed me to an aunt who was a doctor. My aunt probed some more and said  "Yes, it's a mass". I am talking about the early seventies, there were no sphisticated techniques. I had an x ray and they saw a cyst which they had to remove. During the surgery the surgeon recognised the teratoma. the biopsy confirmed his suspission. Little did I know the initial naive exitement of missing a couple of days of school would turn into a 2 year nighmare with more surfgeries, chemoherapy and radiation. 

I was declared cancer free in 1974 so by the Grace of God have been cancer free for 40 years. 

I have had setbacks over the years and am still facing them due to the chemo and radiation I received. But I have led a full life and will continue to do so. I suffer from an autoimmune disease where my platelets are destroyed. They thought I had MDS last year, which was a misdiagnosis, however I have been told I can develop leukemia at a later stage. 

Do let me know how you are faring, I hope you have as lucky a life as I did after my diagnosis.

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